Reactions

I've been thinking a lot about the way I react to things. You know the old saying "Actions speak louder than words." I think reactions speak even louder than that. Reactions usually come from the heart, from the core of who you are. Do my reactions bring glory to Christ? Unfortunately, not always.

Work is one of the most 'reactive' places in my life. I don't know what it is about that place. Maybe we just have more than our fair share of irritating people?? :) Doubt it. I think I am more aware of and convicted about my reactions to life at work than other places. At work, I am surrounded by people that do not know God. Every day I am given the chance to present God to my co-workers through my reactions. I know I fall short too often.

Several things have come together lately to bring this issue to the forefront for me. I was reading the Bible a few days ago and realized I was reacting to a particular scripture like I had many times before. It was several stories about Abraham and Jacob where they lied for various reasons. They seemed to suffer no immediate consequences and, in fact, reaped material gain. My reaction to that has always been to wonder why they were able to lie and not only get away with it, but even seem to get a blessing out of it.

While the reaction was not a new one, the Spirit convicted me this time. I realized that I read the Bible as if I expected God to be more like me. I expected punishment or at least rebuke for their failure to be perfect. I was not reading the stories and seeing a God of mercy and grace who loved and used people despite their imperfections. I became sad to realize that I projected my own imperfections onto God and others, thus expecting God's reaction to more human than Divine.

A week or so later, the sermon at church was on the condition of our hearts. Buddy said that a good indicator of the condition of our hearts was our speech. He put up 2 lists. One had things on it like doubt, gossip, anger, critical, irritable, judging, arrogant, etc. The second had things like love, praise, encouragement, gracious, joyful, testimonies, etc. Unfortunately I found that more of my speech was reflected in the first list. If the mouth is the overflow of the heart, obviously mine needs some work.

I think my attitude at work, my skewed perspective on the Bible and my overall speaking life reflect a heart that has become selfish and worldly. I've been focused too much on things of this world - things that are temporary rather than on things eternal. I am so grateful that God is the loving, patient, merciful, gracious, forgiving God of the Bible rather than the twisted human God I thought He should be (I wouldn't survive serving a God like that)! I'm glad that God cares enough about me to reach right out of the pages of my Bible, tap me on the shoulder and say, "Uh, excuse me. You'll need to read that one again."

Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me.
Ps 51:10