Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Instruction Manual

Lately I have been working on building my photography web-site, which is laughable. I don't have a clue about html, java or any of that. I am doing the trial and error, hit or miss method. I seem to navigate much of life this way. From childhood, I have always hated to read the instructions. I want to jump right in and get started. In school, I never studied. Most tests were passed simply using what I had heard in class. I realized last night that I allow this impatience to spill over into my spiritual life.

I don't want to spend time studying, and often don't want to wait for direction from God. I want to jump in with both feet and start getting my hands dirty right away. While I am able to satisfy my craving for instant gratification, often I walk away with only half of the experience.

In building this web-site, I am consistently dissatisfied with it. There are 2 photographers, one here in Montgomery and one in Knoxville that I am super crazy about. Their work is amazing, and their web-sites ROCK. So I keep looking at their stuff, wanting to emulate them. Longing to be as good as they are.

Often in our spiritual walk, we will see people in the church that we think live these "mountaintop" lives (I can think of a few right off hand). We long to be like them. Yet so often, I fail to consider the time, effort, trials and experiences that have lead them to where they are. I just want to be there now. I want to skip all the work. Same with photography. How many under/overexposed pictures have these 2 photographers I admire had to trash over the years. How many books have they read? How many hours have they spent developing their craft? And my spiritual mentors...how many valleys have they been in? How many hours have they spent on their faces crying out to God? How deeply have they invested themselves in Bible study and time with God? Yet, I lust for the finished product.

I believe it is good to have mentors and people to look up to. We can learn from their experiences and mistakes. I discovered last night that I can save some web-sites into Front Page, then dissect them to see how they were built. So I can learn from those who have gone before me. I can continually look at other artists' work in order to improve my own. But ultimately, I must spend my time in the trenches. I must go through my "grasshopper" time painting fences and waxing cars. Otherwise, I will only have an imitation shell of a product (or spiritual life) that is nowhere close to it's potential.

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