Pusillanimous

Pusillanimous means: lacking courage and resolution; marked by contemptible timidity.

I sometimes struggle with fear and timidity. It seems God whispers things in my ear, things He'd like me to try or things He wants to do through me. Sometimes I listen and act. Sometimes I freak out. I have come to realize that the things I feel led to do that seem impossible and completely off the wall--those are from God. The things I want to do that make sense and have a defined order--those are of me. God doesn't often provide a full set of instructions, rather He lays things out one step at a time. That can be scary.

The good news is, I don't have to be pusillanimous!

God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. 2 Tim 1:7

What makes us afraid as Christians? Sometimes it is fear of rejection or embarrassment. Fear of the unknown. Fear of loss or pain. Satan can sell us on fear of just about anything.

Sometimes we worry about being laughed at, abandoned or mistreated by the world. If we aren't getting some type of flack from the world, we probably aren't being as effective as we could be. That's not to say we have to go around offending everyone we meet. But there should be a definite sense of difference between us and the world. Sometimes that comes in being left out of certain groups at work or school. It may mean being made fun of. Maybe we are lied about by people trying to ruin our reputation. Or maybe it just means having to separate yourself from old friends who don't share your belief system. No matter the specifics, that sense of alienation or separation can be scary at times.

But God's Word says:
Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. Do not fear their threats. Do not be frightened. 1 Peter 3:13-14

When we fear stepping out into the unknown, seemingly alone - God is there. He has gone ahead of us. He has prepared the way. In 1 Corinthians, Paul said, "If Timothy comes, see to it that he has nothing to fear while he is with you, for he is carrying on the work of the Lord." (I Cor 16:10) God may send others to our aid. He may give us the strength internally. However He chooses to encourage and strengthen us, we can be assured He will not leave us dangling out there alone. Why would He call us to do something completely outside the scope of our abilities and then not equip us to carry it out? That doesn't make sense. His goal is to be gloried and to further His Kingdom. He isn't pulling the wings off of the proverbial butterfly.

Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, because He has come and has redeemed his people; to rescue us from the hand of our enemies, and to enable us to serve Him without fear in holiness and righteousness before Him all our days. Luke 1:68, 74-75

Remember when you were a kid and your parents told you to do something? When you asked why, they said, "Because I said so." Sometimes they didn't give you a reason. God is often like that. But the request is always for our own good. As His children, He wants what is best for us, and He wants to see us grow. Sometimes growth comes from being forced to do scary things. What if your parents had not made you brave the darkness as a child and sleep in your own bed? Would you have been sleeping in between your parents at age 17? What if they had not allowed you to fall on your fanny numerous times as you learned to walk? Would they have been carrying you around in some huge kiddy sling at age 10? Sometimes growth and change is scary, but it can be oh so productive--not only for us, but for others as well. Just remember, He is our Father and He has our best interest at heart!

You did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the spirit of sonship. Romans 8:15

Facing fear can also bring enormous freedom. Think in practical terms. I am afraid to fly on an airplane. But if I ever decide to go to Europe, it will take me forever to get there by land and sea. Look at the freedom I can gain by getting into one of those caskets with wings (sorry!). Facing fears in one area can liberate us in other areas as well. Once you realize that fear won't kill you, it has less power in your life.

God can use fear to teach us about His power. He can use it as an exercise in faith. What better way to build our trust in Him than for us to experience Him catching us over and over each time we fall? God doesn't always make sense to us. He does things in an order that we often don't understand. But He is God. He's been doing this for a really long time. I think He's got a pretty good handle on things, whether I understand it or not. Rather than focus on the fear, the key is to focus on the Father. He IS faithful, and He WILL guide, protect and catch us if we seek Him.

Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 9:10