Home again, at last!

Well, I am back from another jaunt to Atlanta. Only one more this month and I will be done with Atlanta for June. I feel like I have been living out of a suitcase lately! Sadly enough, in a couple of weeks I'll go back to Atl, come home for a day or two, then I'm off to Memphis. Not that I'm complaining! I feel very fortunate to be able to travel the way I do. In fact, I'm afraid it has begun to spoil me a little...nice hotels, great food (all on someone else's dime!).

Anyway, I must relay to you my latest from the ATL. I only boast of my progress because I was so timid about Atlanta merely months ago. I used to enter the fair city with white knuckles and trembling knees. While I am still cautious, I am falling into step slowly but surely. This week, I was able to navigate my way around to several places without directions, maps or anything. And I'm a-learnin' the lingo. I took my boss with me this time, and when I started telling him we needed to find the "king and queen" and that this particular place was ITP, he looked at me like I had two heads. I had to laugh.

Anyway, while I am slowly being wooed by the city of Atlanta, I did have a couple of hilarious near-death experiences this week. They are hilarious to me because I have such a warped sense of humor. I can see humor in almost anything if I look hard enough. And, like my mother, when I see something off the wall that makes me laugh - well, the more I laugh, the funnier it becomes. Then the mere fact that I am the only one laughing makes me laugh even harder. Sorry, getting side-tracked.

Back to the brushes with death. I was almost bitten on the head by a gigantic Rottweiller in the parking lot of a Home Depot. Luckily, the car window he tried to jump through wasn't open another inch or so. He could only get his head and upper torso out the window. As I was wedged between our cars, he lunged for me with his lips curled revealing razor-sharp teeth that glistened in the sun. Each rabid snarling bark produced foamy saliva that dripped from his chin. I, of course, was unaware of his presence until I heard this deafening bark and felt the hot breath on my neck.

Second, the hotel I normally stay at was completely booked. So I had no option but to seek shelter elsewhere. I found a nice little hotel on-line, a brand I was familiar with. The room was even $40 cheaper per night. That should have been my first clue (never again will I book a room that rents for less than $100 a night). As we pulled into the parking lot, I began to laugh hysterically. What the internet portrayed as a modern, updated, nice hotel was in reality owned and operated by the Bates family. My boss' groans from the driver's seat only made the moment that much funnier. I told him it couldn't be all bad. After all, there was a Farrari in the parking lot. Turns out that belonged to a "mobile pharmacist" if you catch my meaning. When we got up to our rooms, my boss had to use his shoulder to force his door open. The sheets were pepto pink. And there was a lovely blend of sirens in the background.

Best of all was the traffic. We were almost squished by an 18-wheeler that changed lanes on top of us. And we janked up the transmission somehow, and ended up driving all the way home with the engine light on. I, of course, was laughing so hard that I had tears streaming down my face. I think exhaustion had begun to set in.

So all in all, it was an interesting trip to say the least. I loved every minute of it. And best of all, I got to have lunch at the Rexall Drug Store in Duluth. That place is almost worth the drive just by itself! If you've never been, you've got to put it on your list of things to do. Let me know, and I'll take you if you want. It is like stepping into Mayberry. It's the weirdest thing. Everyone in there knows each other. And they must have a fleet of granny's back there in the kitchen because that food is slap yo' mama good! It's something everyone must experience for himself.

Enough of my travels for now. Must get sleep...