Low Fuel Light

First of all, let me apologize for this post up front as I am running on fumes, having suffered insomnia for going on 5 nights now. Coherence maybe a lofty goal today...

As I said, I have been battling insomnia for 5 straight nights. At first, I thought maybe my new job was to blame. But today I realized that I am on the tail-end of a week of spiritual warfare. This week seems like a foggy dream to me, at least in my current state of mind.

I took on some new responsibilities at work this week that I feel radically ill-equipped to perform. I have a new cube-neighbor who's negative energy completely permeates a room. Therefore I have been a little stressed. Oddly enough, in the midst of this "stress" I have felt more excitement and heard God speaking more than ever. He has answered prayers left and right. He has proven Himself faithful. He has given me strength, understanding and abilities to do things that do not come naturally to me. I have even taken some steps and done some specific things that have purposely shoved me out of my comfort zone. And I have found very little slumber...

I believe God has awakened me in the middle of the night on several occasions. Each time was different, but each time I just knew it was Him. I was lead to something in His Word that I would not have otherwise known to be there. Each time, the interruption in sleep only served to energize me. But this week, the awakenings I have experienced have been different. They have been empty and draining. With each awakening, my mind has been filled with cobwebs. Random, scattered thoughts shot through my mind like lightning. Never there long enough for cohesion, but loud and bright enough to derail rest. I believe the Enemy was at work.

This morning, I reported to work fully aware of my weakened condition. Before I began work, I stopped to pray, acknowledging to God that I was exhausted-mentally and physically. I knew I would be more susceptible to temptation and attack. I asked for His protection and grace. As I staggered through the day, I could feel my batteries running down. Just as I would think I was going to completely wind down, God would send a charge-a passage from a book, an encouraging email, a kind word, someone speaking the Truth to me. I would be re-energized. But as humans tend to do, I would begin to run down again. Each time, God would provide just enough of a boost to keep me going. At the end of the day, I got in the car to come home, and as I pulled into the street my low fuel light lit up. How appropriate. Suddenly, enough synapses fired for me to realize that I had just gone through a week of spiritual warfare, experiencing highs, discoveries, growth spurts and persecution, ridicule, attack and temptation. Satan does NOT want this to be a year of change for me.

I think it's important to acknowledge when our low fuel lights are blinking. It is inevitable. We need to stop and rest. Even spiritual highs can be draining. Sometimes we just need to rest. Even God rested. We don't have to create the world to need a break. And physical activity is not the only thing responsible for running down our batteries. Sometimes mental and spiritual activity can be equally as exhausting. And that's okay. There are well over 50 verses in the Bible that reference 'rest.'

I yawn as I type this, and I pray that I will find sweet slumber tonight. God created me to run down, to need refreshing, recharging. I'm thankful for my low fuel light alerting me it is time to slow down, get quiet, and enjoy a time of renewal. I pray God's refreshing will pour over me like cool water on a steamy, hot summer day.

"Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you." Psalm 116:7

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty." Psalm 91:1

"...Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest." Mark 6:31b