Kim,
I want to thank you for your recent comment. You will never know how much it meant to me! God has spoken to me through you. I feel like God called me several years ago to write. I think He plans to some day make a "ministry" out of it. While I feel completely inadequate and unworthy of writing anything, He keeps pushing me out there.
I am continually amazed at how He works. How He knits people together who have never even met and uses them to encourage, challenge and inspire each other. I guess it is really important to listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit because we never know who He plans to touch through us. When we get wrapped up in ourselves and ignore the Spirit, not only do we miss out--we may be stealing a blessing from someone else. Thank you for being in tune with Him!!!
I promise I have not left Bloggerland. I have so much to share. So many things God has been teaching me lately. It seems I have bitten off a little more than I can chew right now. Along with the new job, I am taking a photography class, co-leading a Bible study and editing/publishing a monthly newsletter for the ladies' ministry at church. At any rate, I've let myself get way too busy! So I've decided to take 1/2 day off work tomorrow to get caught up on some things. Hopefully I will be back to full blogger strength in the next few days!
Quick update: the job is going so much better. I am beginning to settle in. And the cantankerous cube-neighbor? "Ironically" she was put into the hospital right after I started the new job. I think she will be back some time this week. I would never wish ill on her, but it has really allowed me to make peace with my new surroundings with her not being there. (Oddly enough, this is the 5th time in my life that a person who was 'less than pleasant' to me has been removed from my life. 3 died, one moved away and this one was hospitalized. And, no I haven't been putting ground glass in anyone's salad. Interesting though, isn't it?)
Anyway, I am alive and kicking. I am off to bed now. Sometimes I think the best thing we can do for ourselves spiritually is to get some sleep.
Kim, thanks again for the encouragement. Again, you just don't know what that meant to me!!
Blessings~
Aleah
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Friday, January 07, 2005
Low Fuel Light
First of all, let me apologize for this post up front as I am running on fumes, having suffered insomnia for going on 5 nights now. Coherence maybe a lofty goal today...
As I said, I have been battling insomnia for 5 straight nights. At first, I thought maybe my new job was to blame. But today I realized that I am on the tail-end of a week of spiritual warfare. This week seems like a foggy dream to me, at least in my current state of mind.
I took on some new responsibilities at work this week that I feel radically ill-equipped to perform. I have a new cube-neighbor who's negative energy completely permeates a room. Therefore I have been a little stressed. Oddly enough, in the midst of this "stress" I have felt more excitement and heard God speaking more than ever. He has answered prayers left and right. He has proven Himself faithful. He has given me strength, understanding and abilities to do things that do not come naturally to me. I have even taken some steps and done some specific things that have purposely shoved me out of my comfort zone. And I have found very little slumber...
I believe God has awakened me in the middle of the night on several occasions. Each time was different, but each time I just knew it was Him. I was lead to something in His Word that I would not have otherwise known to be there. Each time, the interruption in sleep only served to energize me. But this week, the awakenings I have experienced have been different. They have been empty and draining. With each awakening, my mind has been filled with cobwebs. Random, scattered thoughts shot through my mind like lightning. Never there long enough for cohesion, but loud and bright enough to derail rest. I believe the Enemy was at work.
This morning, I reported to work fully aware of my weakened condition. Before I began work, I stopped to pray, acknowledging to God that I was exhausted-mentally and physically. I knew I would be more susceptible to temptation and attack. I asked for His protection and grace. As I staggered through the day, I could feel my batteries running down. Just as I would think I was going to completely wind down, God would send a charge-a passage from a book, an encouraging email, a kind word, someone speaking the Truth to me. I would be re-energized. But as humans tend to do, I would begin to run down again. Each time, God would provide just enough of a boost to keep me going. At the end of the day, I got in the car to come home, and as I pulled into the street my low fuel light lit up. How appropriate. Suddenly, enough synapses fired for me to realize that I had just gone through a week of spiritual warfare, experiencing highs, discoveries, growth spurts and persecution, ridicule, attack and temptation. Satan does NOT want this to be a year of change for me.
I think it's important to acknowledge when our low fuel lights are blinking. It is inevitable. We need to stop and rest. Even spiritual highs can be draining. Sometimes we just need to rest. Even God rested. We don't have to create the world to need a break. And physical activity is not the only thing responsible for running down our batteries. Sometimes mental and spiritual activity can be equally as exhausting. And that's okay. There are well over 50 verses in the Bible that reference 'rest.'
I yawn as I type this, and I pray that I will find sweet slumber tonight. God created me to run down, to need refreshing, recharging. I'm thankful for my low fuel light alerting me it is time to slow down, get quiet, and enjoy a time of renewal. I pray God's refreshing will pour over me like cool water on a steamy, hot summer day.
"Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you." Psalm 116:7
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty." Psalm 91:1
"...Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest." Mark 6:31b
As I said, I have been battling insomnia for 5 straight nights. At first, I thought maybe my new job was to blame. But today I realized that I am on the tail-end of a week of spiritual warfare. This week seems like a foggy dream to me, at least in my current state of mind.
I took on some new responsibilities at work this week that I feel radically ill-equipped to perform. I have a new cube-neighbor who's negative energy completely permeates a room. Therefore I have been a little stressed. Oddly enough, in the midst of this "stress" I have felt more excitement and heard God speaking more than ever. He has answered prayers left and right. He has proven Himself faithful. He has given me strength, understanding and abilities to do things that do not come naturally to me. I have even taken some steps and done some specific things that have purposely shoved me out of my comfort zone. And I have found very little slumber...
I believe God has awakened me in the middle of the night on several occasions. Each time was different, but each time I just knew it was Him. I was lead to something in His Word that I would not have otherwise known to be there. Each time, the interruption in sleep only served to energize me. But this week, the awakenings I have experienced have been different. They have been empty and draining. With each awakening, my mind has been filled with cobwebs. Random, scattered thoughts shot through my mind like lightning. Never there long enough for cohesion, but loud and bright enough to derail rest. I believe the Enemy was at work.
This morning, I reported to work fully aware of my weakened condition. Before I began work, I stopped to pray, acknowledging to God that I was exhausted-mentally and physically. I knew I would be more susceptible to temptation and attack. I asked for His protection and grace. As I staggered through the day, I could feel my batteries running down. Just as I would think I was going to completely wind down, God would send a charge-a passage from a book, an encouraging email, a kind word, someone speaking the Truth to me. I would be re-energized. But as humans tend to do, I would begin to run down again. Each time, God would provide just enough of a boost to keep me going. At the end of the day, I got in the car to come home, and as I pulled into the street my low fuel light lit up. How appropriate. Suddenly, enough synapses fired for me to realize that I had just gone through a week of spiritual warfare, experiencing highs, discoveries, growth spurts and persecution, ridicule, attack and temptation. Satan does NOT want this to be a year of change for me.
I think it's important to acknowledge when our low fuel lights are blinking. It is inevitable. We need to stop and rest. Even spiritual highs can be draining. Sometimes we just need to rest. Even God rested. We don't have to create the world to need a break. And physical activity is not the only thing responsible for running down our batteries. Sometimes mental and spiritual activity can be equally as exhausting. And that's okay. There are well over 50 verses in the Bible that reference 'rest.'
I yawn as I type this, and I pray that I will find sweet slumber tonight. God created me to run down, to need refreshing, recharging. I'm thankful for my low fuel light alerting me it is time to slow down, get quiet, and enjoy a time of renewal. I pray God's refreshing will pour over me like cool water on a steamy, hot summer day.
"Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you." Psalm 116:7
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty." Psalm 91:1
"...Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest." Mark 6:31b
Thursday, January 06, 2005
A Year Of Change
Last year I declared that 2005 was going to be a year of tremendous change for me. Not change that I necessarily initiated, but major change nonetheless. I really felt God speaking to my heart that some big changes and growth spurts were around the corner. As 2004 drew to a close, I began to feel like an eight year old on Christmas Eve. I relayed my feelings to some other Christians and was told they felt the same way. One girl told me that her pastor had stated that 2005 was going to be a year of tremendous blessings for all Christians everywhere. Long awaited prayers would be answered. Blessings would be in abundance. Growth would be tremendous. The more I prayed, shared with other Christians and eagerly anticipated this new year, the more excited I got.
I spent New Year's Eve with a very close friend who shares my desire and excitement for change, growth, blessing and answered prayers in 2005. We spent 2 1/2 hours praying in the New Year. I have been on a spiritual high since.
One of my goals for this year is to read 52 new books that will challenge me spiritually. One book per week. This week I am reading John Ortberg's "The Life You've Always Wanted." Every time I open that book, I get so excited and inspired and challenged that I have to stop and tell people around me.
I started a new job at work on January 3rd. I have had to move to a new desk, which is right beside the one person in the office that no one wants to be around. She is extremely negative and just down right hateful sometimes. To make matters worse, part of my job responsibilities are taking over some accounts she used to handle. So she is very defensive and suspicious of anything I do. In 2004 and prior, this would have sent my blood pressure through the roof. But not now. 2005 is my year of change! In fact, I was challenged by her attitude this very day. I recalled something I had read in Jon Owen's blog the other day about God not giving us the treatment we deserved, and how we need to remember that when dealing with difficult people. So I jumped up and ran to the bathroom and prayed for God to help me to bless this woman, to serve her, to deal with her in Grace, and for God to give her the peace and joy that is so lacking from her life. When I returned to my desk, she was quiet and I was calm. Excited, actually.
Interestingly, my new assistant is a Christian. So far, every day we have started the day either with prayer or discussion about God and His Word. We often talk about God and what He is saying to us and doing in our lives. I don't think it is a mistake that she and I are sitting next to the office grouch--because she is free to overhear every conversation we have!
Everywhere I turn, God is speaking to me. Tonight I was at the drugstore and happened to pick up a candle. On the box was a word from God. "Let go. Clean the slate and gain courage for a fresh start. Daring starts from within. You have a safe passage to grow beyond your self-imposed limitations. Inside, your life force energy (which I know is God) burns strongly. If you'll listen, you'll discover what your soul is trying to tell you. Imagine yourself soaring like an eagle high above mundane daily details. Suddenly, your soul takes flight. As you soar, you can finally see the larger landscape around you. It's full of new possibilities. Things are clearer. Be alert to what is beginning to awaken in you."
So many things have happened to me this week. So many things have been spoken to my heart. Clouds are starting to part and some things are starting to become clear. Other things that are not yet clear have begun to burn inside me with a passion to seek God for the answers. When I declared 2005 a Year of Change, I didn't realize how abundant and overflowing it would be just in the first week!!! I can't wait to see what the rest of the year holds--not only for me, but for all Christians everywhere!!
I spent New Year's Eve with a very close friend who shares my desire and excitement for change, growth, blessing and answered prayers in 2005. We spent 2 1/2 hours praying in the New Year. I have been on a spiritual high since.
One of my goals for this year is to read 52 new books that will challenge me spiritually. One book per week. This week I am reading John Ortberg's "The Life You've Always Wanted." Every time I open that book, I get so excited and inspired and challenged that I have to stop and tell people around me.
I started a new job at work on January 3rd. I have had to move to a new desk, which is right beside the one person in the office that no one wants to be around. She is extremely negative and just down right hateful sometimes. To make matters worse, part of my job responsibilities are taking over some accounts she used to handle. So she is very defensive and suspicious of anything I do. In 2004 and prior, this would have sent my blood pressure through the roof. But not now. 2005 is my year of change! In fact, I was challenged by her attitude this very day. I recalled something I had read in Jon Owen's blog the other day about God not giving us the treatment we deserved, and how we need to remember that when dealing with difficult people. So I jumped up and ran to the bathroom and prayed for God to help me to bless this woman, to serve her, to deal with her in Grace, and for God to give her the peace and joy that is so lacking from her life. When I returned to my desk, she was quiet and I was calm. Excited, actually.
Interestingly, my new assistant is a Christian. So far, every day we have started the day either with prayer or discussion about God and His Word. We often talk about God and what He is saying to us and doing in our lives. I don't think it is a mistake that she and I are sitting next to the office grouch--because she is free to overhear every conversation we have!
Everywhere I turn, God is speaking to me. Tonight I was at the drugstore and happened to pick up a candle. On the box was a word from God. "Let go. Clean the slate and gain courage for a fresh start. Daring starts from within. You have a safe passage to grow beyond your self-imposed limitations. Inside, your life force energy (which I know is God) burns strongly. If you'll listen, you'll discover what your soul is trying to tell you. Imagine yourself soaring like an eagle high above mundane daily details. Suddenly, your soul takes flight. As you soar, you can finally see the larger landscape around you. It's full of new possibilities. Things are clearer. Be alert to what is beginning to awaken in you."
So many things have happened to me this week. So many things have been spoken to my heart. Clouds are starting to part and some things are starting to become clear. Other things that are not yet clear have begun to burn inside me with a passion to seek God for the answers. When I declared 2005 a Year of Change, I didn't realize how abundant and overflowing it would be just in the first week!!! I can't wait to see what the rest of the year holds--not only for me, but for all Christians everywhere!!
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