God is Good - Regardless

So much has happened since my last post. So many things have happened to so many people I love, and so much has happened to me. Some days I feel like I am surrounded by tragedy, but I am too weak to help anyone. And I am so tired. I know God hears our cries, but for whatever reason He hasn't taken us out of the fire yet.

Within the past 2 months or so, one of my best friend's suffered a life-altering ordeal. Another good friend passed away. Another best friend's mom had to have life-saving brain surgery. Several people from church died. I lost my job (and so did several of my close friends that work with me). Another good friend is moving away. One of my parents' close friends is in ICU and was in a drug-induced coma until a couple of days ago. A friend at work had to put her dog to sleep. I could go on, but I won't. I can't remember the last time such suffering has lingered so long on our doorstep.

Some days I get so overwhelmed that I feel like I simply can't go on. I keep trying to shut down and slip into a state of denial and inactivity. My dad, being a counselor, has been staying on my case helping me to realize that what I am truly facing is depression. I don't think I've ever felt this level of depression before - the kind that almost immobilizes you. I can't imagine what it must be like for people that suffer from this on an ongoing basis. My heart hurts for them.

Each time I slow down, there my dad is - like a cattle prod - telling me to do something. I cry a lot these days. Tonight was a really tough night for some reason. I came home from a friend's house and just sat down and cried for a long time. As soon as the tears stopped, I forced myself to immediately get up and do something positive. What I really wanted to do is go to bed. But I got up, made a phone call that needed to be made and immediately felt a little better. That, in turn, inspired me to do one more thing. So here I am - a few accomplishments later, and I feel a little better. My situation hasn't changed, but my total sense of helplessness and despair is better.

My thoughts and outlook seem to change hourly these days. I know I will bounce back, but it's taking longer than I expected. Honestly, I haven't suffered too many life-altering blows in my life, so I've been lucky. I guess these down times hit me really hard because I am usually a pretty upbeat person. So this is tough. But God has been teaching me some amazing things lately. He has been surrounding me with so many wise and spiritually rich people. Oh, what a blessing they have been. Someone told me a week ago that several of them were going to believe for me until I could believe. They would be excited about what God was doing in my situation until I could be excited. They were standing for me when I could not stand. Wow. Isn't God good?

I will share my experiences with God in the next few days. He is the One true God - our Provider, Comforter, Teacher, Healer, Father, King and Friend. Oh - how He loves us. How perfect and wonderful and praiseworthy He is. I hope things are going well in your life today. If not, be encouraged. I have seen the Lord - and HE IS GOOD.