An empty hand

What is this thing you love?
This blessed curse that hangs so ornately around your neck
Your own personal albatross
This hollowness that penetrates and absorbs your entire atmosphere

"Love," you say?
Surely this blistering thing is nothing of the sort
A cold and bitter empty hand
This is my lot - to live out my days...unfulfilled
I have been robbed even before I have received

Your emptiness has left you filled to the brim
What was once a thing of beauty, hope and wonder has since become an all-consuming darkness that you feed and nurture like a starving baby bird
Blindness has befriended your rage leaving only a hollow shell of ingratitude

I am crippled by my Creator
Left here alone with only this hole
If only ingratitude were the leader of my emotions
I am plagued by silence and engulfed in the flames of this - my unanswered prayer

In all your days, have you uttered but one prayer?
Have not others been answered?
Has this present silence become so deafening that you can no longer hear the echoes of answers from prayers past?

Do prayers and good deeds expire?
Is what was once heard still heard today?
How long must one go without a single drop of water before one withers?
Is it not God who speaks of keeping his children from exasperation?
Shall I make God out to be a liar?

Oh, how my heart shatters into one thousand pieces!
I cannot bear to see what you cannot see
Selfishness has stolen your ability to witness blessings surrounding you each day
I fear you have the curse of Pharaoh
I pray it does not take many plagues to turn stone to sand

I am not a robber and a thief
I did not wipe out a man's life with no reason at all
I am not silent, but I am met with it day after agonizing day
Yet I am on trial for my current condition?

One cannot be both defendant and judge
You cry persecution, yet wear a black robe and carry a gavel
Be reminded of your position
One of lowly, wretched, detestable sinfulness
Remember the rescue you received despite unworthiness
Consider the bounty that lies at your feet in addition to the priceless gift already afforded you
Yet this outstretched hand has become your axis - the center of your world?

Oh, shame my woeful spirit!
My soul lies in ashes
Smoldering with the sting of conviction
Dare I ask for one thing more?
Forgive and cleanse these claws of greed that scratch upon the throne room door
A blind man I have been
To be seated in the treasure chest, yet live as one without even a crust of bread
How humiliated is my asking breath
So deceived by this veil of desire
Will my eyes ever look heavenward again?
Is forgiveness within my grasp?

Pardon was granted long before it was requested
Freedom lies just beyond the fingertips of your empty palm
Embrace your dreams and be not afraid to envision them boldly
Balance is serving beyond the silence
The unanswered prayer may be intended to keep you asking