Shoes, Shoes, Shoes

I confess. I have an obsession with shoes. I am closing in on owning approximately 50 pair. Each and every pair was purchased with a purpose in mind (ooh, kind of like when Christ died for each of us....purchasing each of us with a purpose in mind for us....anyway-sorry I get sidetracked sometimes...). Okay, every girl knows that you need some brown shoes and some black shoes. Some casual shoes, some dressy shoes. Some comfortable shoes, some uncomfortable shoes that are only worn for their fashion value.
Some flat shoes, some tall shoes. Some exercise shoes, some 'hey I need to run to the store' shoes. I have them all. I most often find myself wearing my tall shoes (meaning the heels or soles are thick, you know, 'clunky'). See, I'm not short enough to be short, but I'm not tall enough to be tall. I'm stuck in the frustrating middle ground. Often, my pants are a little too long, hence the tall shoes. (Yes, I realize I could get my pants hemmed, but where's the fun in that?)

Okay, now to the story. First, for those of you who know me, you know that I often refer to my life as a comic strip. I feel like a cartoon character most of the time. Things happen to me that, well, don't happen to other people. My boss calls me Lucy referring to 'I Love Lucy') because of all the "situations" I get myself into. Recently I was in his office (while wearing some of my tall shoes), and we were discussing some serious business
issue. (I should stop here and tell you that I usually find it difficult to be still. If I am standing, I am usually swaying from side to side or turning my feet and standing on the sides of my feet or something.) This particular day, I was standing by my boss's desk, and out of habit I turned both of my feet over on their sides. It is such a habit for me to do this that it didn't occur to me that I was wearing these 'stacks' (tall shoes).
You can't really turn your feet in stacks.

At that instant, both of my ankles gave way and I flew into a fit, flailing my arms and bending at the waist trying to recover and avoid falling flat on the floor. I did manage to remain vertical, however I also gave my boss a near heart attack. He thought I was having some sort of attack or seizure or something. I mean, what kind of person is standing in one spot and just falls right there in place without tripping over something? Apparently a person like me. I looked like a 10 year old trying to walk in high heels
for the first time (only I wasn't walking). I mean this wasn't a graceful 'she looks like she's passing out' kind of fall. This was a violent 'I've got a wasp in my shorts' kind of fall. It's sad really. My boss now knows that I am a confirmed spaz. He finds joy in reminding me of that fact frequently.

I share this with you to caution you of the dangers of wearing big shoes. I guess it is an acquired skill. But you know what they say, if you fall off that horse, you've got to get right back on and try again. So I went out and bought 3 more pair of stacks. I am dedicated.