Report cards

I am getting prepared to go back to school and finish my degree. In my preparation, I ordered a copy of my transcripts from my first attempt at college. As I was looking them over, I saw something that I had forgotten. Something that embarrasses me terribly. My very first semester in college, I made a D in a Bible class.


If the class had been Greek or Hebrew or something exotic and difficult, I might not be quite so ashamed. But this class was on the life of Christ. I went to class thinking I knew enough about Jesus that I didn't really need to study. I didn't care for the professor at all. Basically, I didn't take the class seriously. When test day rolls around and you have 85 multiple choice questions in front of you with answers that all sound the same, coasting isn't as easy as you think.


Now, all these years later, I have that one black mark on my college transcripts. And of all things, there it is - like a neon sign: "D in the life of Christ." A friend from work was looking at the transcript and he commented on how shocked he was that I made a D in that class given my "spirituality." How humiliating.


I've been so bothered by that one letter all week. In the grand scheme of things, I guess it's not really that big of a deal, but it's a big deal to me. I'm a little amazed that my apathy and cockiness from all those years ago have come back to haunt me. I could blame it on the teacher or the "tricky" questions or whatever. The fact is, I failed to prepare.

That theme has been coming up a lot for me lately. Being unprepared. I keep going back to the bridesmaids in Matthew 25 who were caught with no oil for their lamps. I so desperately don't want to be in their shoes in any regard. I also wonder how many things I do flippantly or things I don't do everyday that reflect poorly on Jesus. Things I might not think much of now, but things that could come up later - or things I don't give a second thought to, yet cause others to raise an eyebrow. Do I really witness from the inside out, from the top of my head to the tip of my toes?

I know we can't be perfect, but as I examine my mid-term spiritual progress report, I have to wonder what grades would be there. Luckily, the grades section of my report card is covered in Jesus' blood, so we can't see the grades I really deserve. Grace really is amazing.