No room at the Inn

I read an article the other day that talked about Jesus' birth. How sad it was that no one would make room for Him. Didn't they realize who He was, etc. Then it asked this question, "Do we have room in our Inn for Jesus this Christmas season?"

I have been thinking a lot about that question. Not only during Christmas, but all year long. It seems to be something I wrestle with a lot. I am so easily side-tracked and distracted. If I lived in Bible times, would I have turned Jesus away too? Too busy with daily life to notice Him? How often do I turn Him away in my daily life now? How often do I plow through a day without stopping to include Him? How often do I make plans without asking what His plan is for me? How many times do I take Him for granted, living without gratitude for grace?

I have noticed lately that TV seems to be a huge time vacuum for me. I've always known that I watched too much TV, but not until recently have I realized just how much. A few weeks ago I fasted from TV for a week. I was seeking God in prayer over an issue, so I decided to remove that distraction. I am still amazed by the amount of prayer time and other things I was able to accomplish that week.

Now that TV is back in my life, the laundry is piling up. The house is a mess. I have fallen behind in my reading list. So many loose ends are dangling around. And I feel more stressed and unsettled. All that "resting" I do in front of the TV sure is exhausting!

I've heard of people who radically put their TVs on the curb and decided to brave life without one. I haven't been able to muster up the courage to do that just yet - but I really feel convicted that my New Year needs to involve only a fraction of the TV time I currently "enjoy."

There is such a huge difference between resting and wasting time. I think I have made an art form out of wasting time all in the name of rest. Ultimately, that has only increased my stress level, thus creating a greater need for rest. Somehow I always seem to get stuck in these "vicious cycles" (aka bad habits), and find it's like fighting with the tar baby to get out. I think the key is - JUST DO IT. Each day it's gets easier and eventually new habits form.

There is a commercial on TV right now for Jenny Craig and Valerie Bertinelli is talking about how this is the first New Year's in 20 years that losing weight isn't on her resolution list. What resolution is on your list that was there last year and maybe the year before that?

I don't want to get to the end of another year and realize that I spent more time with Tim Gunn and Tyra Banks than I did with Jesus! So - when you see me this next year, ask me what's getting more face time - my Bible or my TV!!

Back on the playground

Something happened at work today that made me feel like I was back in elementary school. It's a long story, just suffice it to say that a memo went out for all to see that on the surface appeared to single me out and give me special treatment. No one in the office knows the whole story, and several people jumped to conclusions - and that's when the gossip and backbiting started. This mentality has been going on for several years, so it's nothing new.

It hurts and angers me when people treat others badly because they step out and do something above and beyond the call of duty. There IS a difference between taking initiative/bettering yourself and brown-nosing. But most people don't see it that way. Unless you are content to sit back with the majority and coast through life with no extra effort, you will be the object of gossip, rumors and slander. And it hurts.

There will be people who come to you one day with their problems or want your help in some way, then verbally stab you in the back the next day. There will be times when you genuinely try to help people, treat them with kindness and even take on extra work that will ultimately benefit them - only to have them turn on you behind your back.

I guess this is all part of living in a fallen world. I was talking to my mom about this tonight, and after a few minutes of my whining, she simply said, "Look at what Jesus had to go through." Well. There really aren't many other statements that will stop you dead in your tracks like that one. My "crappy" day at work is nothing compared to the betrayal Jesus had to endure. No one is chasing me through the streets trying to crucify me. In comparison, my day was a walk in the park.

In a few weeks, I will no longer be working with many of these people. Chances are I will never see most of them again. My flesh so desperately wants to lash out and make sarcastic remarks or simply to snub them. Then my spirit reminds me that I do not want my last impression on these people to be one of mean-spirited pettiness. I know I need to extend grace to them and glorify God in my actions, especially now.

I keep hearing a voice inside that says, "I'm just so tired of getting my feelings hurt." And I am. But no matter where we go in life, there will always be people that will hurt our feelings. People will sometimes react poorly if we attempt to try something new. So as I navigate life, I am trying to remember that hurt people sometimes hurt others. And nothing I encounter this side of heaven will compare to the sacrifice Jesus made for me.

Report cards

I am getting prepared to go back to school and finish my degree. In my preparation, I ordered a copy of my transcripts from my first attempt at college. As I was looking them over, I saw something that I had forgotten. Something that embarrasses me terribly. My very first semester in college, I made a D in a Bible class.


If the class had been Greek or Hebrew or something exotic and difficult, I might not be quite so ashamed. But this class was on the life of Christ. I went to class thinking I knew enough about Jesus that I didn't really need to study. I didn't care for the professor at all. Basically, I didn't take the class seriously. When test day rolls around and you have 85 multiple choice questions in front of you with answers that all sound the same, coasting isn't as easy as you think.


Now, all these years later, I have that one black mark on my college transcripts. And of all things, there it is - like a neon sign: "D in the life of Christ." A friend from work was looking at the transcript and he commented on how shocked he was that I made a D in that class given my "spirituality." How humiliating.


I've been so bothered by that one letter all week. In the grand scheme of things, I guess it's not really that big of a deal, but it's a big deal to me. I'm a little amazed that my apathy and cockiness from all those years ago have come back to haunt me. I could blame it on the teacher or the "tricky" questions or whatever. The fact is, I failed to prepare.

That theme has been coming up a lot for me lately. Being unprepared. I keep going back to the bridesmaids in Matthew 25 who were caught with no oil for their lamps. I so desperately don't want to be in their shoes in any regard. I also wonder how many things I do flippantly or things I don't do everyday that reflect poorly on Jesus. Things I might not think much of now, but things that could come up later - or things I don't give a second thought to, yet cause others to raise an eyebrow. Do I really witness from the inside out, from the top of my head to the tip of my toes?

I know we can't be perfect, but as I examine my mid-term spiritual progress report, I have to wonder what grades would be there. Luckily, the grades section of my report card is covered in Jesus' blood, so we can't see the grades I really deserve. Grace really is amazing.