Holiday Traffic....gotta love it!

The Christmas season is upon us. You can feel the love and joy in the air as you drive down the street. The sense of harmony is so strong that we all decide to huddle together in traffic like ants on a mission. And you know the true spirit of the season has arrived when you see the universal sign for peace, love and good tidings - the finger. Yes, this heartfelt show of emotion is almost always accompanied by some melodious phrases that truly belong in a Christmas carol sung by angelic four year olds at a Christmas pageant. Ah, Christmas.

Today as I joined my fellow man in a jolly round of traffic caroling, I was quite distressed to realize that some were apparently unaware of the proper merging etiquette. If you know that you are going to have to enter the freeway in a mile or two, go ahead and get in the proper lane. It never hurts to be prepared. As I sat waiting patiently in the proper lane, I noticed other vehicles speeding past and merging into the line many cars ahead. How rude. Here we all are, waiting in line like proper Southern folk, and these others just rush ahead, bust in line and speed off.

As I sat in my car today, becoming increasingly frustrated about the rudeness of my fellow drivers, God gently brought the parable of the vineyard workers from Matthew chapter 20 to mind. I once heard that the focus of this parable is not our sense of injustice, but of God's sense of compassion.

Friend, I am not being unfair to you. Didn't you agree to work for a denarius? Take your pay and go. I want to give the man who was hired last the same as I gave you. Don't I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am so generous? So the last will be first, and the first will be last."

-Matthew 20:13-16 NIV

It's not really about traffic. It's not about pay raises or project assignments. It's not about who sings too loud in church. It's about my attitude of entitlement. God has been placing me in situations lately that really reveal my inflated sense of worth. Oh, how selfish I am! If I spent half as much time focusing on pleasing God as I did in looking at the flaws in others, I would be a world away from where I sit today.

God has been ministering to my heart about my selfishness lately. So often I view life from my limited human perspective. When I witness what I perceive to be injustice, I balk and wonder why God hasn't stepped in and set someone straight. You know, truly, God rarely makes sense to me. He is one anomaly after another. As I grow in my walk with Him, He is so sweet to teach me to see things from His perspective. And the things I don't understand are in His control anyway, so why should I worry? Sometimes I think George Costanza was on to something. Whatever your instinct tells you to do, do the opposite. So often my flesh-infested knee-jerk reaction to a situation is the direct opposite of what God would have me do. My innate judgmental nature and pompous sense of selfishness tell me that I would be a doormat if I let everyone cut in line. But I think God would see it as a ministry opportunity.

I am so glad that God's idea of justice is NOT the same as mine. I would never survive if I had to stand up under the expectations I place on others. I thank God that He cares enough about me to reveal these gaping rifts in my character. Refinement is never a fun process. But just knowing that God hasn't given up on me yet makes the growing pains all worthwhile!

I didn't make my bed today. Well, let's be honest - there are a lot of days that I don't make my bed. Frankly, I'm lucky to get out of the house with all my clothes on, much less make the bed. I can't imagine how in the world I am going to manage getting kids ready some day - but that's another blog for another day.

As I said, I didn't make my bed today. When I got home from work, much to my dismay, I discovered my bed to be covered in leaves. I have a dog that uses a doggie door. Right now my back yard is covered in leaves. Therefore, when Cooper comes in, so do the leaves. My initial reaction to the leaves was one of frustration. But my frustration quickly turned to warm fuzzies as I began to think about little Cooper all snuggled up in my bed today while I was at work.

When I am at home, he likes to be in the same room as me. It doesn't matter what I am doing, or if he's sleeping or not - he just wants to be close. I guess being in my bed makes him feel close to me when I am away. It kind of reminds me of being a child - the one place kids always seem to feel the safest is in their parents' bed. I don't know why. I'm sure there is some psychological explanation for it, but it's beyond me. What I do know is that I feel the same way with God.

While I often wrestle with God in prayer over many things, I still find so much comfort in Him. Even though I don't always understand Him, I am humbled that He would allow someone as human as me to enter into His Presence. There is such peace there. Even in the midst of storms, there's just something about being in His Presence that lets you know it will all work out somehow.

I'll never forget my first plane ride. I was beyond mortified. With each tremor of turbulence, I was praying as hard as I could. The words were flowing through my mind faster than I could think them. And each new tremor would bring a new wave of beseeching. That was the only thing that kept me sane. I'm a LITTLE calmer in the air now, but not much. Each time I fly, I experience a whole new level of spirituality!

I am trying to make time every day to sit in God's presence, to experience that feeling of peace, comfort, joy and love. If you can relish it in the good times, it makes it easier to cherish in the bad times. Building a relationship and getting comfortable on His lap now will make that safe haven feel more like home when the storms come.

The name of the Lord is a strong fortress; the godly run to Him and are safe.
-Proverbs 18:10