...Let me impart some of my wisdom. As I reluctantly cross the threshold into my mid-thirties (ahhh, shivers run up and down my spine), I feel it bears upon me to bestow knowledge onto the youngsters of the world. So here's what being 35, unemployed, fat and single have taught me...
1. Don't waste a day of your life. If you hate your job - go home TODAY and start preparing for a new one. I don't care if you update your resume, surf the net, register for school, type up a resignation letter, sell your house and move to Guam. Just do SOMETHING. Don't wait until corporate America takes a dump in your mashed potatoes before you get off your rump and take action. Life is too short to make someone else rich doing something you hate.
2. Be real with people. They need you and you need them. Be kind and considerate, but don't fiddle fart around with people either. If you have something to say, say it. If there's a burr in your saddle - spit it out. If you want to break up, man up and do it. Life's to short to lead people on. There's too much living to be done. But remember - be kind. Living with no regret means just that - in every way.
3. Take no one for granted. That means everyone from the lady at the cash register in Target to your deaf old Aunt Myrtle that drives you crazy. When people call, answer the phone. When they leave a message - call them back. Heck - call someone out of the blue for no reason other than to tell them you are glad they are alive. Return your emails. Call people by name once in while. Smile. Life's too short to be so self-absorbed that we don't take time to recognize and acknowledge the importance of others.
4. Spend time with God EVERYDAY. There is nothing more important than this. It's hard to tap into His peace and hear His voice when you barely know what He sounds like. Fill yourself so much with Him that you begin to become one with His creation. Let His Spirit pour into you so you can truly connect with other people, with nature, with HIM. Life's too short to even attempt to navigate one minute on your own.
5. Be prepared. Think ahead. Plan. Budget. Be responsible. Don't go into debt. Waiting on God and walking in faith are not excuses for failure to plan. God gave us brains, talents and self-control. Remember the bridesmaids in Matthew 25 who were caught with no oil for their lamps. And the parable of the talents also in Matthew 25. Life's too short to be caught with your pants down.
6. Overhaul your temple. Eat right. Exercise. Friggin' get over it and lose weight if you need to. Being unhealthy can be a tremendous hindrance in so many areas of life. Unfortunately studies prove it does influence the way others react to you. It can lower self-esteem, thus reducing your ability to influence others. And it just flat out slows you down. Not to mention that it IS possible to drop dead of a heart attack at a young age. Life's too short to waste time catching your breath.
7. Figure out who YOU are. Explore. Don't be afraid to ask questions. It's okay to look silly in front of others. Figure out what you believe, what you stand for and why. Be different from other people. Never settle for someone else's beliefs, opinions, hobbies or ideas. Think for yourself. Be strong in YOUR identity. Life's too short to live in someone else's shoes.
8. For Heaven's sake, ladies - please DO NOT put your life on hold waiting for a husband. Buy a house. Take a class. Learn to dance. Dress to impress yourself. Go out and have fun. Drink deeply of life. Don't compromise who you are to "land a man." Don't sacrifice your morals in the hopes you will win his heart. And don't sit on the sidelines waiting for a man to complete you. Guys are great, and I love them - but we need to embrace who we are and where we are today (refer to #7 if you need a refresher). Life is too short to waste one single day!!
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Be of good cheer!
My favorite Psalm: Psalm 86
A verse that changed my life: Jeremiah 40:4
Verses God showed me today: Psalm 27:11,13-14
As most of you know, I recently lost my job. God is doing some AMAZING things within this whole process. I can't wait until He releases me to share the whole story with you. He is creating such a testimony within me right now. I still don't know where He will ultimately take me or how He will work out the details, but He is so alive and present in my everyday. It is almost as if He peeled back the sky and allowed me to inhale a deep, fresh breath of Heaven. I stand amazed in His presence and power.
I am 100% convinced that God allows us to walk through various fires because He can use them to weave such intricate and beautiful patterns into the fabric of our lives. We, in turn, can use that fabric to wrap around the hurting, hopeless, and lost around us.
We are not a people without hope. We are not a people of weakness. We are not a people ruled by fear. We serve the Most High God. He directs our steps. He knows the plans He has for us - plans to prosper us, not to harm us. God is good - and He longs for the chance to prove that to us in any and every situation.
A verse that changed my life: Jeremiah 40:4
Verses God showed me today: Psalm 27:11,13-14
As most of you know, I recently lost my job. God is doing some AMAZING things within this whole process. I can't wait until He releases me to share the whole story with you. He is creating such a testimony within me right now. I still don't know where He will ultimately take me or how He will work out the details, but He is so alive and present in my everyday. It is almost as if He peeled back the sky and allowed me to inhale a deep, fresh breath of Heaven. I stand amazed in His presence and power.
I am 100% convinced that God allows us to walk through various fires because He can use them to weave such intricate and beautiful patterns into the fabric of our lives. We, in turn, can use that fabric to wrap around the hurting, hopeless, and lost around us.
We are not a people without hope. We are not a people of weakness. We are not a people ruled by fear. We serve the Most High God. He directs our steps. He knows the plans He has for us - plans to prosper us, not to harm us. God is good - and He longs for the chance to prove that to us in any and every situation.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
17 New Revelations
1. I'm more disposable that I thought I was.
2. Getting laid off feels like breaking up.
3. What you feel is what you feel. Just because others don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't valid.
4. No one cares as much about your well-being as you do (okay, except for God and maybe mom & dad...)
5. You don't have to make decisions based on anyone else's time table.
6. Being upset and not eating doesn't always mean you lose weight.
7. Even when others get frustrated and give up on you, God never will.
8. Just because my faith doesn't look like yours doesn't mean I don't have any.
9. Sometimes having friends hurts a lot.
10. I am a pack rat with WAY too much stuff.
11. It's okay to do the unexpected.
12. I have a closet full of clothes yet have nothing to wear.
13. When you're scared, there's no place like home.
14. Encouragement has a short shelf-life.
15. God gives us the freedom of choice more often than we think.
16. When something bad happens, well-meaning people will hurt your feelings with unintended flippancy.
17. Being pro-active is part of waiting on God.
2. Getting laid off feels like breaking up.
3. What you feel is what you feel. Just because others don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't valid.
4. No one cares as much about your well-being as you do (okay, except for God and maybe mom & dad...)
5. You don't have to make decisions based on anyone else's time table.
6. Being upset and not eating doesn't always mean you lose weight.
7. Even when others get frustrated and give up on you, God never will.
8. Just because my faith doesn't look like yours doesn't mean I don't have any.
9. Sometimes having friends hurts a lot.
10. I am a pack rat with WAY too much stuff.
11. It's okay to do the unexpected.
12. I have a closet full of clothes yet have nothing to wear.
13. When you're scared, there's no place like home.
14. Encouragement has a short shelf-life.
15. God gives us the freedom of choice more often than we think.
16. When something bad happens, well-meaning people will hurt your feelings with unintended flippancy.
17. Being pro-active is part of waiting on God.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
God is Good - Regardless
So much has happened since my last post. So many things have happened to so many people I love, and so much has happened to me. Some days I feel like I am surrounded by tragedy, but I am too weak to help anyone. And I am so tired. I know God hears our cries, but for whatever reason He hasn't taken us out of the fire yet.
Within the past 2 months or so, one of my best friend's suffered a life-altering ordeal. Another good friend passed away. Another best friend's mom had to have life-saving brain surgery. Several people from church died. I lost my job (and so did several of my close friends that work with me). Another good friend is moving away. One of my parents' close friends is in ICU and was in a drug-induced coma until a couple of days ago. A friend at work had to put her dog to sleep. I could go on, but I won't. I can't remember the last time such suffering has lingered so long on our doorstep.
Some days I get so overwhelmed that I feel like I simply can't go on. I keep trying to shut down and slip into a state of denial and inactivity. My dad, being a counselor, has been staying on my case helping me to realize that what I am truly facing is depression. I don't think I've ever felt this level of depression before - the kind that almost immobilizes you. I can't imagine what it must be like for people that suffer from this on an ongoing basis. My heart hurts for them.
Each time I slow down, there my dad is - like a cattle prod - telling me to do something. I cry a lot these days. Tonight was a really tough night for some reason. I came home from a friend's house and just sat down and cried for a long time. As soon as the tears stopped, I forced myself to immediately get up and do something positive. What I really wanted to do is go to bed. But I got up, made a phone call that needed to be made and immediately felt a little better. That, in turn, inspired me to do one more thing. So here I am - a few accomplishments later, and I feel a little better. My situation hasn't changed, but my total sense of helplessness and despair is better.
My thoughts and outlook seem to change hourly these days. I know I will bounce back, but it's taking longer than I expected. Honestly, I haven't suffered too many life-altering blows in my life, so I've been lucky. I guess these down times hit me really hard because I am usually a pretty upbeat person. So this is tough. But God has been teaching me some amazing things lately. He has been surrounding me with so many wise and spiritually rich people. Oh, what a blessing they have been. Someone told me a week ago that several of them were going to believe for me until I could believe. They would be excited about what God was doing in my situation until I could be excited. They were standing for me when I could not stand. Wow. Isn't God good?
I will share my experiences with God in the next few days. He is the One true God - our Provider, Comforter, Teacher, Healer, Father, King and Friend. Oh - how He loves us. How perfect and wonderful and praiseworthy He is. I hope things are going well in your life today. If not, be encouraged. I have seen the Lord - and HE IS GOOD.
Within the past 2 months or so, one of my best friend's suffered a life-altering ordeal. Another good friend passed away. Another best friend's mom had to have life-saving brain surgery. Several people from church died. I lost my job (and so did several of my close friends that work with me). Another good friend is moving away. One of my parents' close friends is in ICU and was in a drug-induced coma until a couple of days ago. A friend at work had to put her dog to sleep. I could go on, but I won't. I can't remember the last time such suffering has lingered so long on our doorstep.
Some days I get so overwhelmed that I feel like I simply can't go on. I keep trying to shut down and slip into a state of denial and inactivity. My dad, being a counselor, has been staying on my case helping me to realize that what I am truly facing is depression. I don't think I've ever felt this level of depression before - the kind that almost immobilizes you. I can't imagine what it must be like for people that suffer from this on an ongoing basis. My heart hurts for them.
Each time I slow down, there my dad is - like a cattle prod - telling me to do something. I cry a lot these days. Tonight was a really tough night for some reason. I came home from a friend's house and just sat down and cried for a long time. As soon as the tears stopped, I forced myself to immediately get up and do something positive. What I really wanted to do is go to bed. But I got up, made a phone call that needed to be made and immediately felt a little better. That, in turn, inspired me to do one more thing. So here I am - a few accomplishments later, and I feel a little better. My situation hasn't changed, but my total sense of helplessness and despair is better.
My thoughts and outlook seem to change hourly these days. I know I will bounce back, but it's taking longer than I expected. Honestly, I haven't suffered too many life-altering blows in my life, so I've been lucky. I guess these down times hit me really hard because I am usually a pretty upbeat person. So this is tough. But God has been teaching me some amazing things lately. He has been surrounding me with so many wise and spiritually rich people. Oh, what a blessing they have been. Someone told me a week ago that several of them were going to believe for me until I could believe. They would be excited about what God was doing in my situation until I could be excited. They were standing for me when I could not stand. Wow. Isn't God good?
I will share my experiences with God in the next few days. He is the One true God - our Provider, Comforter, Teacher, Healer, Father, King and Friend. Oh - how He loves us. How perfect and wonderful and praiseworthy He is. I hope things are going well in your life today. If not, be encouraged. I have seen the Lord - and HE IS GOOD.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
The Smiles of God
There's been a lot of talk about the names of God. But what about the smiles of God? People say "God smiled on me today." What does that look like? We all have a million and one different smiles that dance across our faces at some point. There's the "I'm up to something," the "Hey, watch this," the "sheepish," the "smiling through tears," the "isn't he so sweet," the "inside joke," the "courtesy smile," the "unspoken conversation across a crowded room smile," the "silent victory," the "self-satisfaction," the "proud momma," the "I'm about to plant one on you," and endless others.
I think God has a million and one smiles too. When He smiles, sometimes I think His teeth must be like a jack'o-lantern and that's where the sunbeams come from. When the sun shines during a rain, is that His smiling through tears? I know He smiles when we do something funny or good or when we trip over our own feet while trying to take baby steps of faith. Sometimes I think He smiles at us through little babies or puppy dogs (y'all know they grin...). God's smiles are all around us and in us and on us. I can't NOT smile when someone smiles at me. Stands to reason if I recognized more of His smiles, mine would multiply in return.
I think God has a million and one smiles too. When He smiles, sometimes I think His teeth must be like a jack'o-lantern and that's where the sunbeams come from. When the sun shines during a rain, is that His smiling through tears? I know He smiles when we do something funny or good or when we trip over our own feet while trying to take baby steps of faith. Sometimes I think He smiles at us through little babies or puppy dogs (y'all know they grin...). God's smiles are all around us and in us and on us. I can't NOT smile when someone smiles at me. Stands to reason if I recognized more of His smiles, mine would multiply in return.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Family portraits are so much fun!
Well, they say the nut doesn't fall far from the tree..... Here's my family tree. Explains a lot, huh?
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Realizations
I attended the funeral of a very dear friend yesterday. I can honestly say that it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I don't remember most of the drive home, and I cried so much last night that I made myself sick. Not only am I sad that my friend is gone, I am filled with regret that I let so much time lapse without seeing him.
Wayne lived in another city, a city I used to live in. I went through some painful times in that city, so it was just easier to leave and never look back. The only problem is that I left the good with the bad. I don't deal well with good-bye's, so when I left that city, I left everything including all the people I love. I treat separation like ripping off a band-aid. Move on, get it over with quick so it won't hurt so much. But the hurt has a way of catching up with you one way or the other.
As I drove back to Phenix City, I was filled with anxiety. So many people I had not seen in years. Some doors I needed to close. Friendships that had fallen by the wayside. The reunion was so bittersweet. People embraced me like I was the long lost missing link. With some we just hugged and cried and spoke very little. Words weren't needed. These people are a part of me. We share a past and memories that will never be forgotten. The times I spent with them are emblazoned on my soul and helped mold me into who I am. Everyone looked older. Some were now divorced, some widowed. Some had kids. But each and every one of them had the same spirit, you could see it in their eyes. We are all so different, yet we are all the same. I guess it's like that when you become a part of someone.
The service was very sweet. We laughed and cried. We sang. Wayne's brother, Benny, told stories that we all related to. In that moment, we sat there as one, both grief-stricken yet joyful. Being a Christian is really weird sometimes. You develop these instant bonds with people you don't even know. They grow into your life and their spirit takes root and becomes part of your foundation. They die and we are both happy and sad. Sad for us to be without them, happy that they are with Jesus (saving us a seat on the front row).
As I said, I am burdened by a tremendous sense of regret that I let so many years pass between visits. Wayne knew that I love him. I have no doubt about that. While I regret that I won't get to tell him just one last time how much I love him this side of heaven, I am grateful that I will have that chance some day. As I mingled among so many old friends yesterday, I was filled with such a longing for them. I genuinely miss them. I've been thinking a lot about regret today. I don't want to reach another significant event in my life and have it overshadowed by regret. I don't want to reach the end of another ordinary day and look back on it with regret.
Wayne taught me so many things in my life. He changed the way I think about things. He helped me learn to laugh at myself (he certainly laughed at me enough!). He always told me to "be sweet." He even influenced my love for music (I am crazy about 70's music thanks to him). I learned some new things about him yesterday that I didn't know. And yet again, he touched my life. Even now, I am still learning from him....live without regret.
Wayne lived in another city, a city I used to live in. I went through some painful times in that city, so it was just easier to leave and never look back. The only problem is that I left the good with the bad. I don't deal well with good-bye's, so when I left that city, I left everything including all the people I love. I treat separation like ripping off a band-aid. Move on, get it over with quick so it won't hurt so much. But the hurt has a way of catching up with you one way or the other.
As I drove back to Phenix City, I was filled with anxiety. So many people I had not seen in years. Some doors I needed to close. Friendships that had fallen by the wayside. The reunion was so bittersweet. People embraced me like I was the long lost missing link. With some we just hugged and cried and spoke very little. Words weren't needed. These people are a part of me. We share a past and memories that will never be forgotten. The times I spent with them are emblazoned on my soul and helped mold me into who I am. Everyone looked older. Some were now divorced, some widowed. Some had kids. But each and every one of them had the same spirit, you could see it in their eyes. We are all so different, yet we are all the same. I guess it's like that when you become a part of someone.
The service was very sweet. We laughed and cried. We sang. Wayne's brother, Benny, told stories that we all related to. In that moment, we sat there as one, both grief-stricken yet joyful. Being a Christian is really weird sometimes. You develop these instant bonds with people you don't even know. They grow into your life and their spirit takes root and becomes part of your foundation. They die and we are both happy and sad. Sad for us to be without them, happy that they are with Jesus (saving us a seat on the front row).
As I said, I am burdened by a tremendous sense of regret that I let so many years pass between visits. Wayne knew that I love him. I have no doubt about that. While I regret that I won't get to tell him just one last time how much I love him this side of heaven, I am grateful that I will have that chance some day. As I mingled among so many old friends yesterday, I was filled with such a longing for them. I genuinely miss them. I've been thinking a lot about regret today. I don't want to reach another significant event in my life and have it overshadowed by regret. I don't want to reach the end of another ordinary day and look back on it with regret.
Wayne taught me so many things in my life. He changed the way I think about things. He helped me learn to laugh at myself (he certainly laughed at me enough!). He always told me to "be sweet." He even influenced my love for music (I am crazy about 70's music thanks to him). I learned some new things about him yesterday that I didn't know. And yet again, he touched my life. Even now, I am still learning from him....live without regret.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Sad Goodbye
I got a call today that a friend of mine passed away this morning. He unexpectedly died of a heart attack. He wasn't overweight or terribly unhealthy. He just died suddenly. He was one of the sweetest and most fun people I ever knew. He had a tremendous impact on my life - even down to influencing the kind of music I like. I am shocked and saddened tonight that he is gone.
I had not talked to Wayne in a while. Circumstances of life sort of took us in different directions, but every time I saw him it was as if no time had passed and no words need be spoken. There are so few people on earth that you connect with in that manner. You know the ones you can look at across a room and have a full conversation without ever uttering a sound. I wish I could see him just one more time to make sure I told him how much he means to me, but with Wayne, I think he knew. At least I hope he did.
I will, at some point, post a blog about him. For now, I just can't put it into words.
If there is someone in your life that you haven't seen in a while or, heck, someone you had lunch with today that you haven't expressed your gratitude, love or appreciation for - please don't wait another day.
I had not talked to Wayne in a while. Circumstances of life sort of took us in different directions, but every time I saw him it was as if no time had passed and no words need be spoken. There are so few people on earth that you connect with in that manner. You know the ones you can look at across a room and have a full conversation without ever uttering a sound. I wish I could see him just one more time to make sure I told him how much he means to me, but with Wayne, I think he knew. At least I hope he did.
I will, at some point, post a blog about him. For now, I just can't put it into words.
If there is someone in your life that you haven't seen in a while or, heck, someone you had lunch with today that you haven't expressed your gratitude, love or appreciation for - please don't wait another day.
Monday, October 01, 2007
Sacrificing Self
For the past couple of weeks, I have been doing some examining of my life - who I am, what I am about, my passions, the things that drive me, and the things that always seem to trip me up. I have begun to realize with more clarity than ever how remarkably selfish I am. Like looking at one of those 3-D prints, I can finally see the picture. So many of the things that cause me to feel defeated in life are a direct result of selfishness. Of all these realizations, here's the one that hit me hardest: I am astounded to realize how rarely I tell myself "no." Selfishness has mushroomed into self-indulgent gluttony in many areas of my life.
As a society, we live in a world of instant gratification. We are under tremendous amounts of debt. We are overweight and suffering the physical health problems that follow. We are immune to the numerous four letter words that are littered throughout our television lives. Relationships are not sacred and have almost become disposable. All as a result of feeding our greedy flesh whatever it desires. No restraints.
As I read about Jesus in the book of John, His primary goal in life was to serve, honor and obey God. He was homeless. He ran with a pack of misfits and hung out with the seedy, undesirables from town. He hardly ever had an uninterrupted moment to Himself. Isn't it funny that even Jesus' life wasn't all about Him?! He was JESUS. The Son of God and Savior of the world - and even He was not focused on Himself. He lived to serve God. His one desire was that people came to know the Father.
Everyone I know has a hang-up of some sort. That is part of being human. While I truly believe that God uses these hang-up's as a tool to draw us closer to Him, I don't believe He intends for us to stay married to these problems and hang on to them like life support. There are so many other ways He can reveal Himself to us and teach us things. And if we weren't playing merri-go-round with our sins, we might have more time to focus on leading others to Him. It seems to come full circle back to selfishness. I wonder how many of our hang-up's, fears, sins and various other problems could be resolved with genuine sacrificial living and the crucifixion of selfishness.
As a society, we live in a world of instant gratification. We are under tremendous amounts of debt. We are overweight and suffering the physical health problems that follow. We are immune to the numerous four letter words that are littered throughout our television lives. Relationships are not sacred and have almost become disposable. All as a result of feeding our greedy flesh whatever it desires. No restraints.
As I read about Jesus in the book of John, His primary goal in life was to serve, honor and obey God. He was homeless. He ran with a pack of misfits and hung out with the seedy, undesirables from town. He hardly ever had an uninterrupted moment to Himself. Isn't it funny that even Jesus' life wasn't all about Him?! He was JESUS. The Son of God and Savior of the world - and even He was not focused on Himself. He lived to serve God. His one desire was that people came to know the Father.
Everyone I know has a hang-up of some sort. That is part of being human. While I truly believe that God uses these hang-up's as a tool to draw us closer to Him, I don't believe He intends for us to stay married to these problems and hang on to them like life support. There are so many other ways He can reveal Himself to us and teach us things. And if we weren't playing merri-go-round with our sins, we might have more time to focus on leading others to Him. It seems to come full circle back to selfishness. I wonder how many of our hang-up's, fears, sins and various other problems could be resolved with genuine sacrificial living and the crucifixion of selfishness.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Hot Pockets
Well, it finally happened... Today at work one of my co-workers told me she was going to the breakroom to heat up her Hot Pocket for lunch. Much to her surprise, I burst out laughing and was unable to adequately explain why. So for all of you that choose to eat Hot Pockets in my presence, here's why I'm laughing... (thanks, Jon)
Monday, September 17, 2007
Forgive Jesus?
Yesterday I sat spellbound as I listened to someone share an encounter they'd had with God. First, I am always intrigued anytime someone is willing to reveal details of an exchange with Him. Hearing from God is often such a misunderstood and mystical event that it continues to challenge and stretch me. But this particular encounter with the Most High stopped me in my tracks and puts things in slow motion when I stop to think about it.
My friend had been hurt by something, and as a result had become angry with God. In the course of her struggle with Him, Jesus asked her if she could forgive Him. Errrrrrrrk....beep...beep...beep - back it up. What? Jesus asked you what? She went on to explain that He wasn't asking for forgiveness - He had done nothing wrong. He was asking if she could forgive Him - could she get passed it and let go of her anger.
That painted such a beautiful picture of Jesus to me. A picture of a Savior that truly approaches us with compassion. What a picture of gentle strength and quiet power. He seeks us where we are and reaches into our hearts to massage away the pain, the hurt, the guilt and the sin. He is the friend who holds our hair as we puke in the toilet of life (bet you never heard that in a study on the names of God...but honestly - is there a truer friend than that?).
Sometimes I hold back with Jesus. I even avoid Him from time to time. I do this because I believe the lies Satan tells me about my need to be perfect. And since I am never perfect, I often find myself running from God in some futile and irrational effort to hide my imperfection. I am baffled as to why I will allow my earthly friends to see my flaws, yet try to hide them from the One who sees everything. Maybe I feel some small amount of control over how well others know me, yet with God there is no control. The thought that Someone could know me so deeply and intimately is scary to me. Therefore, I strap on my fig leaves and run and hide.
We had Friend Day at church yesterday, and Buddy preached about Jesus being our friend. His lesson was my all time favorite "Best of Buddy Bell" sermon on Peter and Jesus. In the past 10 - 15 years or so, I have heard variations of this lesson from Buddy 3 times in various settings. And I sit on the edge of my seat every time. I would have to say it is my all time favorite sermon. He spoke about Peter and Jesus. When Peter walked on water and began to sink, Jesus immediately reached down and grabbed him. Even after Peter denied Jesus, He pursued Peter. He met Peter where he was mentally, emotionally and spiritually. He knew Peter wasn't perfect, and He loved Him anyway.
The more I learn about Jesus, the more I see that my drive for perfection is not of Him. He meets me where I am and works with what's on my heart that day. He doesn't overwhelm me with a laundry list of growth steps and future spiritual "achievements" He expects of me. He takes what's on my plate today, and we go from there.
My friend had been hurt by something, and as a result had become angry with God. In the course of her struggle with Him, Jesus asked her if she could forgive Him. Errrrrrrrk....beep...beep...beep - back it up. What? Jesus asked you what? She went on to explain that He wasn't asking for forgiveness - He had done nothing wrong. He was asking if she could forgive Him - could she get passed it and let go of her anger.
That painted such a beautiful picture of Jesus to me. A picture of a Savior that truly approaches us with compassion. What a picture of gentle strength and quiet power. He seeks us where we are and reaches into our hearts to massage away the pain, the hurt, the guilt and the sin. He is the friend who holds our hair as we puke in the toilet of life (bet you never heard that in a study on the names of God...but honestly - is there a truer friend than that?).
Sometimes I hold back with Jesus. I even avoid Him from time to time. I do this because I believe the lies Satan tells me about my need to be perfect. And since I am never perfect, I often find myself running from God in some futile and irrational effort to hide my imperfection. I am baffled as to why I will allow my earthly friends to see my flaws, yet try to hide them from the One who sees everything. Maybe I feel some small amount of control over how well others know me, yet with God there is no control. The thought that Someone could know me so deeply and intimately is scary to me. Therefore, I strap on my fig leaves and run and hide.
We had Friend Day at church yesterday, and Buddy preached about Jesus being our friend. His lesson was my all time favorite "Best of Buddy Bell" sermon on Peter and Jesus. In the past 10 - 15 years or so, I have heard variations of this lesson from Buddy 3 times in various settings. And I sit on the edge of my seat every time. I would have to say it is my all time favorite sermon. He spoke about Peter and Jesus. When Peter walked on water and began to sink, Jesus immediately reached down and grabbed him. Even after Peter denied Jesus, He pursued Peter. He met Peter where he was mentally, emotionally and spiritually. He knew Peter wasn't perfect, and He loved Him anyway.
The more I learn about Jesus, the more I see that my drive for perfection is not of Him. He meets me where I am and works with what's on my heart that day. He doesn't overwhelm me with a laundry list of growth steps and future spiritual "achievements" He expects of me. He takes what's on my plate today, and we go from there.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Rain Dancer
Twice this week I have driven home from work in the rain. I don't mean a drizzle kind of rain, I mean a real meat and potatoes, fat man kind of rain. I joined my fellow Americans in fleeing like cockroaches from sunlight, just trying to get home and get out of the wet.
As I drove through my neighborhood on one of those days, I saw a young girl standing out on the sidewalk in front of her house. She stood there watching traffic go by with a look of complete amusement and mischief. I'm sure she relished all the strange looks she got by grumpy adults that sped by. I too was taken aback when I noticed her, and I'm sure my surprise registered on my face.
When I passed her house, I watched her in my rear view mirror. She raised her arms toward heaven and began to twirl and dance. The rain washing over her and splashing on her face. I was transported back to my own childhood when I used to play in the rain. What a time of carefree joy.
I think we all need to spend more time out in the rain twirling and dancing. We take life way to seriously some times.
As I drove through my neighborhood on one of those days, I saw a young girl standing out on the sidewalk in front of her house. She stood there watching traffic go by with a look of complete amusement and mischief. I'm sure she relished all the strange looks she got by grumpy adults that sped by. I too was taken aback when I noticed her, and I'm sure my surprise registered on my face.
When I passed her house, I watched her in my rear view mirror. She raised her arms toward heaven and began to twirl and dance. The rain washing over her and splashing on her face. I was transported back to my own childhood when I used to play in the rain. What a time of carefree joy.
I think we all need to spend more time out in the rain twirling and dancing. We take life way to seriously some times.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Blood Suckers
I just killed a mosquito. There he sat, loosening the little buckle on his tiny little pants, getting ready to kick back and take a nap after filling his belly. Just picture his little feet crossed and his eyelids getting heavy as he lets out a little sigh of satisfaction.
**SQUISH!!**
Don't feel sorry for him. That little leech just invaded my privacy. He violated me and stole my very life force without even so much as a warning. At least the Red Cross has the decency to call you every 3 minutes to beg and plead before they drain your veins.
To make matters worse, when I squished him - he had the audacity to squirt my own blood all over my desk. That little glutton took advantage of me, then left a mess for me to clean up. Not to mention that I will be scratching my elbow all night where he dug his little fangs in for a nice big gulp.
People can be sort of like mosquitoes sometimes. I think everyone I know has had a "mosquito" in their life at some point or another. Well - for all of you mosquito victims out there, I will plant a tiny flag of victory tonight (metaphorically speaking, of course).
**SQUISH!!**
Don't feel sorry for him. That little leech just invaded my privacy. He violated me and stole my very life force without even so much as a warning. At least the Red Cross has the decency to call you every 3 minutes to beg and plead before they drain your veins.
To make matters worse, when I squished him - he had the audacity to squirt my own blood all over my desk. That little glutton took advantage of me, then left a mess for me to clean up. Not to mention that I will be scratching my elbow all night where he dug his little fangs in for a nice big gulp.
People can be sort of like mosquitoes sometimes. I think everyone I know has had a "mosquito" in their life at some point or another. Well - for all of you mosquito victims out there, I will plant a tiny flag of victory tonight (metaphorically speaking, of course).
Call me Franky
Well, a lot has transpired since my last post. Let's see...I put my house on the market on July 11. It sold on July 12, and I have to be out by August 3rd. I put my house hunting into high gear and also found a house that I love. So I will sell my house at 9:30 and buy one at 10:30 this Friday.
Last week I was leaving my parents house and just as I got to the car, I stepped off the curb wrong and sprained my ankle. As I lay in the street on my back like a dead bug, my mom was running back and forth from the car to the house. I asked her to gather all of my belongings (that also when scattering into the street the same time I did) and take them back inside. I had already loaded the pup in the car, so she had to get him back in the house. By then I was able to stop writhing in pain long enough to hop back inside.
I went to the doctor yesterday since my foot still looks like an inflated latex glove. He mashed and poked on it as all good doctors do (I wonder if they have Mashing 101 and Poking & Prodding 201 in med school). I was fine with the mashing until he took to twisting. Twice I almost stood on my eyelashes when he janked it too far to one side. Ultimately that landed me three weeks in physical therapy - oh, and I am now wearing a gigantic frankenstein boot. The boot is actually pretty awesome. It's super comfy and the sole of it is curved like a rocking chair. So it's pretty cool to walk and stand in. If only I had a matching pair...
I start PT tomorrow. I'm sure they will want me to scratch the back of my neck with my third toe or try to lift a boulder with one foot. If luck holds true to form, my therapist will be a close relative of Agatha Trunchbull (the principal from Matilda).
One of the girls at work has started calling me Criptonite. I can't imagine why. Well, at least I haven't set myself on fire lately...
Last week I was leaving my parents house and just as I got to the car, I stepped off the curb wrong and sprained my ankle. As I lay in the street on my back like a dead bug, my mom was running back and forth from the car to the house. I asked her to gather all of my belongings (that also when scattering into the street the same time I did) and take them back inside. I had already loaded the pup in the car, so she had to get him back in the house. By then I was able to stop writhing in pain long enough to hop back inside.
I went to the doctor yesterday since my foot still looks like an inflated latex glove. He mashed and poked on it as all good doctors do (I wonder if they have Mashing 101 and Poking & Prodding 201 in med school). I was fine with the mashing until he took to twisting. Twice I almost stood on my eyelashes when he janked it too far to one side. Ultimately that landed me three weeks in physical therapy - oh, and I am now wearing a gigantic frankenstein boot. The boot is actually pretty awesome. It's super comfy and the sole of it is curved like a rocking chair. So it's pretty cool to walk and stand in. If only I had a matching pair...
I start PT tomorrow. I'm sure they will want me to scratch the back of my neck with my third toe or try to lift a boulder with one foot. If luck holds true to form, my therapist will be a close relative of Agatha Trunchbull (the principal from Matilda).
One of the girls at work has started calling me Criptonite. I can't imagine why. Well, at least I haven't set myself on fire lately...
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Procrastination
I'm not sure why I am writing this post. I should be either sleeping or cleaning or painting or packing or something. Why is it that some of us completely shut down when faced with a gargantuan task? I've noticed other people around me that rise to the challenge of a huge task. They work hard, pace themselves, and seem to exist on a never ending stream of enthusiasm. Then there's me. I stand back, look at the task at hand, analyze it from all sides, measure it up good, plan various ways to approach it, then go off and watch TV, write, draw, read, surf the net, paint my toenails or play with my dog. When the task at hand isn't something that particularly excites me, it feels as though cement is coursing through my veins. It's all I can do to step beyond procrastination and actually get to work.
I am getting ready to sell my house. My parents and one of my best friends have been helping me paint and do various other fix-up's around my place. I knew that I would never get the thing listed if I didn't put myself on a deadline. So I set a time goal and made an appointment with my realtor. That motivated my mom - she works like the Energizer Bunny. All I can think is, "Geez, mom. We've been doing this for 30 minutes now. Can't we stop and take a break. Let's chew our food really slow at lunch so we can sit here longer." Yet she keeps right on working. Since I can't have my own mother working like a dog in my own house, I feel compelled to get in there right beside her.
I think that's why God put us together. "Us" as Christians, I mean. I guess He knew the scattered and lazy lot of us would be laying in a ditch somewhere were it not for the consistently motivated among us. So, my energetic brethren (and sistren), I raise my glass to you. Thank you for inspiring the ADD, frantic, tardy and often unorganized. I know it may seem that we are oblivious to your dedication, yet I assure you - we are not. While we may be flying in on a dime everywhere we go, we secretly long for that peaceful pace at which you seem to live. That ever illusive "togetherness" that is always just beyond our grasp. Thank you for your patience as we blow in like a tornado with 10 teacups spinning in sticks. God knew we needed you.
I am getting ready to sell my house. My parents and one of my best friends have been helping me paint and do various other fix-up's around my place. I knew that I would never get the thing listed if I didn't put myself on a deadline. So I set a time goal and made an appointment with my realtor. That motivated my mom - she works like the Energizer Bunny. All I can think is, "Geez, mom. We've been doing this for 30 minutes now. Can't we stop and take a break. Let's chew our food really slow at lunch so we can sit here longer." Yet she keeps right on working. Since I can't have my own mother working like a dog in my own house, I feel compelled to get in there right beside her.
I think that's why God put us together. "Us" as Christians, I mean. I guess He knew the scattered and lazy lot of us would be laying in a ditch somewhere were it not for the consistently motivated among us. So, my energetic brethren (and sistren), I raise my glass to you. Thank you for inspiring the ADD, frantic, tardy and often unorganized. I know it may seem that we are oblivious to your dedication, yet I assure you - we are not. While we may be flying in on a dime everywhere we go, we secretly long for that peaceful pace at which you seem to live. That ever illusive "togetherness" that is always just beyond our grasp. Thank you for your patience as we blow in like a tornado with 10 teacups spinning in sticks. God knew we needed you.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Can I Get a Witness?
Approximately nine years ago, I applied for a different job with my company. The job would have been a slight promotion with a little higher salary. At the time, all I saw were dollar signs. I completed the application process and interviewed for the job. Much to my dismay, they hired someone else. How dare! I was hurt. Well, mostly my pride was hurt. I couldn't understand why I didn't get this job. God simply said "no" with no further explanation.
Now nine years later, that entire department has been dissolved. The girl who was hired instead of me lost her job. As far as I know, she still has not found another job. Insurance jobs are pretty hard to come by in Montgomery. Looking back, I see now that God was looking out for me. At the time, I couldn't understand why. More money seemed like a good thing. The manager of that department actually became a good friend of mine. I would have done a good job for him. And yet God said "no."
Over the years I worked my way up in my department. I actually now have a job that is a higher pay grade than that one would have ever been. And I still have a job. I am reminded that sometimes God says 'no' even when it hurts our feelings in the moment. But we do not serve a random or petty God. Our God is purposeful. He is training us like ivy. Ivy must be tied to a pole and trained to grow a certain way. Over time, after enough growth has occurred, you can untie the ivy and it will continue to grow in the right direction. His "no's" always have a purpose. We may not see it for years to come, if ever. But rest assured, His restraint is for our benefit.
Now nine years later, that entire department has been dissolved. The girl who was hired instead of me lost her job. As far as I know, she still has not found another job. Insurance jobs are pretty hard to come by in Montgomery. Looking back, I see now that God was looking out for me. At the time, I couldn't understand why. More money seemed like a good thing. The manager of that department actually became a good friend of mine. I would have done a good job for him. And yet God said "no."
Over the years I worked my way up in my department. I actually now have a job that is a higher pay grade than that one would have ever been. And I still have a job. I am reminded that sometimes God says 'no' even when it hurts our feelings in the moment. But we do not serve a random or petty God. Our God is purposeful. He is training us like ivy. Ivy must be tied to a pole and trained to grow a certain way. Over time, after enough growth has occurred, you can untie the ivy and it will continue to grow in the right direction. His "no's" always have a purpose. We may not see it for years to come, if ever. But rest assured, His restraint is for our benefit.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
On being refined
I am getting ready to paint my hallway. At some point in the past the prior owners of my lovely home did a real wiggyjack job on patching a place in the sheet rock. So I've gone in and applied sheet rock mud in an attempt to smooth it out. After the sheet rock mud dries, it has to be sanded. The sanding process creates a lot of fine white dust.
Tonight as I sanded, I started thinking about the process. As the refiner, I am having to do a lot of work to get this stuff smooth. I put a spotlight in the hallway to make sure I could see really well. I am covered in dust and have probably breathed in who knows how much of it. The wall just sat there.
When God is refining me, I often think He is just sitting there doing nothing. I accuse Him of leaving me out in the cold or ignoring me. In fact, the opposite is true. God is the one working on me. He is putting in the elbow grease to smooth out the edges. He is covered with the dust of my refinement (often in the form of my complaints).
I can only imagine how difficult and frustrating it would have been for me if that wall was squirming around, complaining and trying to run away as I sanded. The process would have taken so much longer. Hmmm. Something to think about...
Tonight as I sanded, I started thinking about the process. As the refiner, I am having to do a lot of work to get this stuff smooth. I put a spotlight in the hallway to make sure I could see really well. I am covered in dust and have probably breathed in who knows how much of it. The wall just sat there.
When God is refining me, I often think He is just sitting there doing nothing. I accuse Him of leaving me out in the cold or ignoring me. In fact, the opposite is true. God is the one working on me. He is putting in the elbow grease to smooth out the edges. He is covered with the dust of my refinement (often in the form of my complaints).
I can only imagine how difficult and frustrating it would have been for me if that wall was squirming around, complaining and trying to run away as I sanded. The process would have taken so much longer. Hmmm. Something to think about...
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Hangin' with Jesus at the well
As I mentioned in my previous post, I have been studying the book of John lately. The weird thing about this study is that it seems as if I am meeting Jesus for the first time. It's like being back in school where you see this guy in the hallway every day, know where his locker is, know the crowd he runs with - but you only know of that world rather than living in that world. Or maybe it's a movie star, you know the Tiger Beat mini posters you hang all over your room.....and Kirk's favorite color is blue, he likes to swim and his favorite movie is Teen Wolf. Oh my gosh! Mine too. Then one day this intimate stranger steps in your path and asks to carry your books.
It's not that I've never read the book of John before. It's not that I'm not a Christian. It's not that I don't pray or don't have a relationship with God. It's just that lately, for whatever reason, Jesus has come alive in some Princess Bride kind of way. It's gone beyond my Grandpa reading the story to me, and I have stepped into the story as Princess Buttercup.
In studying the book of John, my friends and I have been seeking a lot of information on Biblical culture and traditions of the times. It really will change the entire Biblical experience for you. Words have new meaning. The scriptures dance on the page. I can hear the laughter and dancing, and even smell the grapes as Jesus turned water into wine in Cana. I can hear the flutter of doves wings and coins clinking on the ground as Jesus turns over the tables in temple. But what really gets me is the Samaritan woman at the well.
This woman is me; she is all of us. No, we may not be living in the shadow of 5 ex-husbands and shacking up with a new man. Her sin is irrelevant - her sin symbolizes all of our sin. If we look past the sin, as Jesus did, we see this incredible interaction between her and Jesus. Imagine how hot it must have been, noon and the sun is beating down. You've just hauled this mammoth water jar down to the well. Suddenly, going against all things proper and decent - this man strikes up a convo with you. Can't you just see the compassion in his eyes? I see him walking slowly around the well as we talk. He sips water from a ladle and pours some onto the dusty ground. His friends show up, yet he does not break eye contact with me. He sacrifices all cultural norms along with his very reputation to make a point. Not only that, he camps out there for two days - defiling himself by Jewish standards so that many Samaritans will come to know him.
I am so moved by this story. Again, I am this woman. I am unworthy to be acknowledged by Jesus, yet he throws justice and tradition aside to make me feel loved. He gently teaches me and guides me toward the path of life. Jesus is all about us. The very One that gives us life puts himself on the back burner and focuses on us. His yoke is easy and his burden is light (know what that statement really means?). Loving Jesus and being loved by Him is such a breath of fresh air. Is it really possible that we serve a God who puts us first? Pinch me. This feels like a dream.
It's not that I've never read the book of John before. It's not that I'm not a Christian. It's not that I don't pray or don't have a relationship with God. It's just that lately, for whatever reason, Jesus has come alive in some Princess Bride kind of way. It's gone beyond my Grandpa reading the story to me, and I have stepped into the story as Princess Buttercup.
In studying the book of John, my friends and I have been seeking a lot of information on Biblical culture and traditions of the times. It really will change the entire Biblical experience for you. Words have new meaning. The scriptures dance on the page. I can hear the laughter and dancing, and even smell the grapes as Jesus turned water into wine in Cana. I can hear the flutter of doves wings and coins clinking on the ground as Jesus turns over the tables in temple. But what really gets me is the Samaritan woman at the well.
This woman is me; she is all of us. No, we may not be living in the shadow of 5 ex-husbands and shacking up with a new man. Her sin is irrelevant - her sin symbolizes all of our sin. If we look past the sin, as Jesus did, we see this incredible interaction between her and Jesus. Imagine how hot it must have been, noon and the sun is beating down. You've just hauled this mammoth water jar down to the well. Suddenly, going against all things proper and decent - this man strikes up a convo with you. Can't you just see the compassion in his eyes? I see him walking slowly around the well as we talk. He sips water from a ladle and pours some onto the dusty ground. His friends show up, yet he does not break eye contact with me. He sacrifices all cultural norms along with his very reputation to make a point. Not only that, he camps out there for two days - defiling himself by Jewish standards so that many Samaritans will come to know him.
I am so moved by this story. Again, I am this woman. I am unworthy to be acknowledged by Jesus, yet he throws justice and tradition aside to make me feel loved. He gently teaches me and guides me toward the path of life. Jesus is all about us. The very One that gives us life puts himself on the back burner and focuses on us. His yoke is easy and his burden is light (know what that statement really means?). Loving Jesus and being loved by Him is such a breath of fresh air. Is it really possible that we serve a God who puts us first? Pinch me. This feels like a dream.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
My first date with Jesus
This week I have been listening to a lesson series on relationships. The speaker is fantastic, and he fills his lessons with stories and analogies (which are life to me when listening to a sermon). He flips back and forth between discussion of a woman's responsibility vs a man's responsibility. At one point, he spoke of a woman who wasn't under authority. Growing up, she wasn't under her father's authority. She disrespected her husband because she wasn't under his authority. Ultimately, she wasn't under God's authority.
I've never been married, so I can't presume to say what it is like. However, for years I have heard a multitude of Christian women complain about having to be submissive. I've never really known what to think about that. Listening to these ladies, it sounds a little scary to me. But as this pastor explained what it was to live under authority, some of the clouds began to dissipate. Living under authority was directly tied to her husband's treatment of her. As he expounded on the Song of Solomon, this picture of a beautiful man began to emerge - a man who was gentle, loving, complimentary, protecting, sensitive, adoring, and strong (I think I am getting a little bit of a crush on ol' Solomon). I still don't know about this submission debate, but I think I'd like to give it a try if it were with a man like this.
The more I listen to these lessons, the more I begin to realize how I want to be treated and what kind of marriage and husband I want. Then the more I listen, the more hesitant of marriage I become - I've never dated a man like this. I've never been loved this way before. Is it really possible? Do husbands and marriages like this really exist? While I desire to be a wife someday, dare I think that I could have this? It seems so unreal that I am almost afraid to dream of it.
It's funny that I am listening to this lesson series this week. I am also doing a study on the book of John right now. I feel like I am getting to know Jesus in a new way. He is becoming real to me. John lends several insights into the humanity of Jesus. He paints a picture of a real, tangible man with skin on that gets tired and needs to stop for lunch. He is filled with passion and fire. He's strong and athletic, yet compassionate and soft spoken. He values family and friendship. He cares for strangers and speaks his mind. He puts the needs of others ahead of his own needs and reputation. He is nurturing and patient. He's kind and loving. His character, his nature - that IS the husband described in these lessons. That is the man in Song of Solomon. He is the kind of man I would feel safe being in submission to.
I think I have spent a lot of time living on the fence. Calling myself a follower of Jesus, but watching Him out of the corner of my eye. Taking His words under advisement, yet seeking my own map. This picture that has been painted of this dreamy, Biblical husband has helped me understand Jesus. It has helped me see the love He has for me. I don't know if I will ever find this "Song of Solomon love" here on earth, but realizing that I already have it in Jesus completely changes the way I feel about myself as a woman and as a single person. To know that He loves me this way melts away rigidity, fear and apprehension and makes me feel loved, cherished and protected. It gives me the freedom to open myself to Him and what He truly offers as my Savior.
I think I have been living as if Jesus has been my boss. The view I have had of our relationship has been more about what I am doing wrong, how I am falling short - almost as if He is in heaven with one eyebrow raised, arms folded, looking down on me and shaking His head. As I learn more about "Jesus the person" - the human side of Jesus, I realize I have only been seeing the God side of Jesus (which can be quite intimidating). But the human side of Jesus is helping me better understand the God side of Jesus. And looking at Him in light of a healthy relationship - one that is about love, selflessness, sacrifice, nurturing, kindness, authenticity, protection and friendship - it makes me feel like I just got home from my first date...
I've never been married, so I can't presume to say what it is like. However, for years I have heard a multitude of Christian women complain about having to be submissive. I've never really known what to think about that. Listening to these ladies, it sounds a little scary to me. But as this pastor explained what it was to live under authority, some of the clouds began to dissipate. Living under authority was directly tied to her husband's treatment of her. As he expounded on the Song of Solomon, this picture of a beautiful man began to emerge - a man who was gentle, loving, complimentary, protecting, sensitive, adoring, and strong (I think I am getting a little bit of a crush on ol' Solomon). I still don't know about this submission debate, but I think I'd like to give it a try if it were with a man like this.
The more I listen to these lessons, the more I begin to realize how I want to be treated and what kind of marriage and husband I want. Then the more I listen, the more hesitant of marriage I become - I've never dated a man like this. I've never been loved this way before. Is it really possible? Do husbands and marriages like this really exist? While I desire to be a wife someday, dare I think that I could have this? It seems so unreal that I am almost afraid to dream of it.
It's funny that I am listening to this lesson series this week. I am also doing a study on the book of John right now. I feel like I am getting to know Jesus in a new way. He is becoming real to me. John lends several insights into the humanity of Jesus. He paints a picture of a real, tangible man with skin on that gets tired and needs to stop for lunch. He is filled with passion and fire. He's strong and athletic, yet compassionate and soft spoken. He values family and friendship. He cares for strangers and speaks his mind. He puts the needs of others ahead of his own needs and reputation. He is nurturing and patient. He's kind and loving. His character, his nature - that IS the husband described in these lessons. That is the man in Song of Solomon. He is the kind of man I would feel safe being in submission to.
I think I have spent a lot of time living on the fence. Calling myself a follower of Jesus, but watching Him out of the corner of my eye. Taking His words under advisement, yet seeking my own map. This picture that has been painted of this dreamy, Biblical husband has helped me understand Jesus. It has helped me see the love He has for me. I don't know if I will ever find this "Song of Solomon love" here on earth, but realizing that I already have it in Jesus completely changes the way I feel about myself as a woman and as a single person. To know that He loves me this way melts away rigidity, fear and apprehension and makes me feel loved, cherished and protected. It gives me the freedom to open myself to Him and what He truly offers as my Savior.
I think I have been living as if Jesus has been my boss. The view I have had of our relationship has been more about what I am doing wrong, how I am falling short - almost as if He is in heaven with one eyebrow raised, arms folded, looking down on me and shaking His head. As I learn more about "Jesus the person" - the human side of Jesus, I realize I have only been seeing the God side of Jesus (which can be quite intimidating). But the human side of Jesus is helping me better understand the God side of Jesus. And looking at Him in light of a healthy relationship - one that is about love, selflessness, sacrifice, nurturing, kindness, authenticity, protection and friendship - it makes me feel like I just got home from my first date...
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