Thursday, December 08, 2005
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Here, there and everywhere...
So, we're going on about 6 months now since my last post, huh? Interesting how so much can happen in such a short time. My last post? My friend lost her battle with Satan. I couldn't save her. But I sat by the edge of the muddy pig pin and waited for her to tire of it. Eventually that did happen. She, with God's help, is in the process of digging all of that mud out of every little nook and cranny. And God is smiling on her every day.
God continues to amaze me. He is always waiting, just outside of the muck. Ready with a towel of glistening white, arms open wide. Surely He must spend a lot of time waiting beside that pig pin for us to come crawling out. Time and time again. There's something about that muddy gunk we just love. Like a drug addict, we sell ourselves to get one more hit. Before we know it, there we are again. Slipping and wallowing in the think black muck, unable to get any of it off. I thank God that He is so willing to rescue us over and over.
I had an encounter with God last week that brought me to my knees. Face down on the floor, crying like a baby. Faced with the reality of how much I have been looking to the world to find fulfillment. Oh, how dry and starved I had allowed my soul to become. How was I to witness to the world when I was turning to the very things they turn to? How was I any different from them? How selfish and warped my thinking had become that I would point an angry finger at God and blame Him for all that my life was lacking. Yet again, He ministered to me through weeks and weeks of sermons, friends, songs, emails, scripture, and even a license plate!
Again, I am amazed that God would even want anything to do with me, let alone pursue me. But pursue me, He does. I can look back over the years, and see how many things come together to reveal His love for me. How many different ways He was speaking to me, trying to get my attention. Sometimes having to love me from afar because I wouldn't let Him get any closer.
No doubt. We serve a God who loves us with a fierce, unrelenting love. He will not let us go without a fight. He will not give up on us. And He is only a whisper away.
God continues to amaze me. He is always waiting, just outside of the muck. Ready with a towel of glistening white, arms open wide. Surely He must spend a lot of time waiting beside that pig pin for us to come crawling out. Time and time again. There's something about that muddy gunk we just love. Like a drug addict, we sell ourselves to get one more hit. Before we know it, there we are again. Slipping and wallowing in the think black muck, unable to get any of it off. I thank God that He is so willing to rescue us over and over.
I had an encounter with God last week that brought me to my knees. Face down on the floor, crying like a baby. Faced with the reality of how much I have been looking to the world to find fulfillment. Oh, how dry and starved I had allowed my soul to become. How was I to witness to the world when I was turning to the very things they turn to? How was I any different from them? How selfish and warped my thinking had become that I would point an angry finger at God and blame Him for all that my life was lacking. Yet again, He ministered to me through weeks and weeks of sermons, friends, songs, emails, scripture, and even a license plate!
Again, I am amazed that God would even want anything to do with me, let alone pursue me. But pursue me, He does. I can look back over the years, and see how many things come together to reveal His love for me. How many different ways He was speaking to me, trying to get my attention. Sometimes having to love me from afar because I wouldn't let Him get any closer.
No doubt. We serve a God who loves us with a fierce, unrelenting love. He will not let us go without a fight. He will not give up on us. And He is only a whisper away.
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
It's me again
Many thanks to all of you that have posted comments, sent me emails and spoken words of encouragement to me since my last post. I am definitely on the upward swing. I still do not feel that I am back to my full spiritual charge yet, but I am getting there. I tend to be a very animated person, and being in the valley is torture for me. I want my life to be vibrant and full of life and laughter all the time. Realistically I know that cannot be, but I seem to take the valley pretty hard sometimes. Anyway--not to worry. I think we all go through crusty, rank times in our lives where we just want to sit in a mud puddle and cry about what's not right our lives.
I am both blessed and cursed with creativity. Blessed because my life generally stays pretty flavorful. Cursed because my creativity is coupled with a short attention span. Blessed because I am able to come up with new and different ways to minister to others. Cursed because my desire for freshness and exploration sometimes gets me sidetracked with my spiritual walk. Let's face it, sometimes our walks are boring. I don't do boring. So after a mile or two with no angelic chorus overhead, I tend to wander off down some side road looking for adventure. Inevitably, my side roads lead me to the valley. You would think I would have figured this out by now....
This particular trip has lead me to some interesting places. And Satan was the tour guide. Actually he knew what he was doing all along. It just took me a while to catch on. Little did I know that while I was wandering off down my little side road, Satan was cooking up a big ole' casserole of trouble in the life of a close friend. When the whole thing came to a head and casserole exploded all over the kitchen, I was just beginning to peak my head out of the valley. I wasn't as prepared as I could have been to help my friend.
I quickly decided that I had to do something. My friend was about to be eaten alive by sin. So the fight began. Not a fight between my friend and I, but between us and Satan. I refuse to hand any of my friends over to Satan without a fight. Tooth and nail. Somebody, somewhere is going down.
I came to realize that I need to be more careful about my wanderings. My walk with God is not just about me. I need to be in constant communion with God so I will be better prepared to fight for myself or anyone else when the time comes. Thankfully God knows we are weak, and He pairs us with people that can stand up for us when we can't stand for ourselves.
My friend and I are still in the heat of battle. I have thrown down some pretty fierce fighting words to her Tempter. Right now she is still recovering from the initial blast. It's like a scene from a war movie. She's thrown over my shoulder and I am standing here yelling at her attacker to 'bring it on.' I probably need to calm down. Again, I'm animated. At any rate, I've had to return from the valley rather quickly, patch up my own wounds and prepare to throw down.
Please keep us in your prayers. I know God is faithful. While we aren't out of the woods yet, I believe God will deliver us. In the meantime, a lot of people stand to get hurt if Satan doesn't release his grip. I guess that's usually the case when Satan uses people as pawns in his little games.
I am both blessed and cursed with creativity. Blessed because my life generally stays pretty flavorful. Cursed because my creativity is coupled with a short attention span. Blessed because I am able to come up with new and different ways to minister to others. Cursed because my desire for freshness and exploration sometimes gets me sidetracked with my spiritual walk. Let's face it, sometimes our walks are boring. I don't do boring. So after a mile or two with no angelic chorus overhead, I tend to wander off down some side road looking for adventure. Inevitably, my side roads lead me to the valley. You would think I would have figured this out by now....
This particular trip has lead me to some interesting places. And Satan was the tour guide. Actually he knew what he was doing all along. It just took me a while to catch on. Little did I know that while I was wandering off down my little side road, Satan was cooking up a big ole' casserole of trouble in the life of a close friend. When the whole thing came to a head and casserole exploded all over the kitchen, I was just beginning to peak my head out of the valley. I wasn't as prepared as I could have been to help my friend.
I quickly decided that I had to do something. My friend was about to be eaten alive by sin. So the fight began. Not a fight between my friend and I, but between us and Satan. I refuse to hand any of my friends over to Satan without a fight. Tooth and nail. Somebody, somewhere is going down.
I came to realize that I need to be more careful about my wanderings. My walk with God is not just about me. I need to be in constant communion with God so I will be better prepared to fight for myself or anyone else when the time comes. Thankfully God knows we are weak, and He pairs us with people that can stand up for us when we can't stand for ourselves.
My friend and I are still in the heat of battle. I have thrown down some pretty fierce fighting words to her Tempter. Right now she is still recovering from the initial blast. It's like a scene from a war movie. She's thrown over my shoulder and I am standing here yelling at her attacker to 'bring it on.' I probably need to calm down. Again, I'm animated. At any rate, I've had to return from the valley rather quickly, patch up my own wounds and prepare to throw down.
Please keep us in your prayers. I know God is faithful. While we aren't out of the woods yet, I believe God will deliver us. In the meantime, a lot of people stand to get hurt if Satan doesn't release his grip. I guess that's usually the case when Satan uses people as pawns in his little games.
Friday, March 18, 2005
Blah Blah Blue
It's been forever since my last post. Here's why. I've run out of words. Life has sort of lost it's flavor lately. All the colors in my mind have dried up. My spiritual life is dusty and stale. My relationships are running on auto-pilot. And I seem to be hovering somewhere in outer space, looking around and wondering how I got here.
PLEASE pray for me. I need serious revival in my life right now.
PLEASE pray for me. I need serious revival in my life right now.
Monday, February 14, 2005
Bread of Life
This is for my dear friend Jon.
It has recently occurred to me that becoming a Christian is a lot like becoming a lump of raw dough. Accepting Christ is the final ingredient that sort of gels everything together and all the liquids and powders have meshed. You are now a squishy glob of dough.
You are then dumped out of the security of your mixing bowl onto a 'floured' surface. Great. Dusty ole flour. But the dusty flour is necessary to keep you from sticking. The Chef rolls you over, squishing you, mashing you, stretching you. Sometimes dough has to be punched (literally) and thrown around. Flopped back down onto the 'floured' surface. Over and over. Finally after the kneading is complete, you are ready to rise.
You are placed in a special place at just the right temperature, covered by a towel (God's hand) and allowed to just sit (or so it seems). While you are in your element, just "sitting" you realize you are growing. God will leave you here for just the right amount of time. He won't let you 'rise' too long. Trust me, one time I forgot about some homemade bread I was allowing to rise and when I came back it had grown completely out of the bowl and was spilling over onto the kitchen counter. God won't let us rise too much. We might become to big for our britches and get in His way. Too much "sitting" will leave us fat and useless. So it's off to the fire with ya.
Once the kneading and rising are complete, you are then placed in a fiery hot oven and cooked. (What heat are you in right now?) Not only that, you are placed inside some sort of pan that constricts your shape. When you were raw dough, your form was free. Now you have this boundary. You will be left in the fire just long enough to set. That way, when you are taken out of the pan, you will retain it's shape and the pan won't have to hold you together any more.
Now you are done. Oh wait, not yet. Now you will be cut, sliced, possibly torn apart, buttered, maybe toasted some more, maybe soaked in milk and dredged through egg and sugar and re-cooked. You might be frozen or allowed to dry out and turned into bread crumbs. You might be torn into tiny bits and fed to a duck.
Just remember this--you were created to bring nourishment. Bread sustains life. It is almost always present at parties and feasts. Countless children hold it as a prize possession that tenderly houses their PB&J. The world at large recognizes the value and delicacy of bread, although you will occasionally get a cashier that tosses your bread in the grocery sack under a gallon of milk. Just par for the course.
We are all in the process somewhere. Some of us are being tossed in the air and flipped over and over on a floured surface. Some are sitting, rising. Some are being baked, while others are being celebrated. And some of us are in the bottom of the grocery bag under a gallon of milk. Regardless, we are all here to nourish. God WILL use us in the right recipe at the right time, as long as we remember HE is the Chef and we are the dough. There's no hopping out of the mixing bowl or walking out of the oven. Each stage has a purpose that leads to a divine end.
It has recently occurred to me that becoming a Christian is a lot like becoming a lump of raw dough. Accepting Christ is the final ingredient that sort of gels everything together and all the liquids and powders have meshed. You are now a squishy glob of dough.
You are then dumped out of the security of your mixing bowl onto a 'floured' surface. Great. Dusty ole flour. But the dusty flour is necessary to keep you from sticking. The Chef rolls you over, squishing you, mashing you, stretching you. Sometimes dough has to be punched (literally) and thrown around. Flopped back down onto the 'floured' surface. Over and over. Finally after the kneading is complete, you are ready to rise.
You are placed in a special place at just the right temperature, covered by a towel (God's hand) and allowed to just sit (or so it seems). While you are in your element, just "sitting" you realize you are growing. God will leave you here for just the right amount of time. He won't let you 'rise' too long. Trust me, one time I forgot about some homemade bread I was allowing to rise and when I came back it had grown completely out of the bowl and was spilling over onto the kitchen counter. God won't let us rise too much. We might become to big for our britches and get in His way. Too much "sitting" will leave us fat and useless. So it's off to the fire with ya.
Once the kneading and rising are complete, you are then placed in a fiery hot oven and cooked. (What heat are you in right now?) Not only that, you are placed inside some sort of pan that constricts your shape. When you were raw dough, your form was free. Now you have this boundary. You will be left in the fire just long enough to set. That way, when you are taken out of the pan, you will retain it's shape and the pan won't have to hold you together any more.
Now you are done. Oh wait, not yet. Now you will be cut, sliced, possibly torn apart, buttered, maybe toasted some more, maybe soaked in milk and dredged through egg and sugar and re-cooked. You might be frozen or allowed to dry out and turned into bread crumbs. You might be torn into tiny bits and fed to a duck.
Just remember this--you were created to bring nourishment. Bread sustains life. It is almost always present at parties and feasts. Countless children hold it as a prize possession that tenderly houses their PB&J. The world at large recognizes the value and delicacy of bread, although you will occasionally get a cashier that tosses your bread in the grocery sack under a gallon of milk. Just par for the course.
We are all in the process somewhere. Some of us are being tossed in the air and flipped over and over on a floured surface. Some are sitting, rising. Some are being baked, while others are being celebrated. And some of us are in the bottom of the grocery bag under a gallon of milk. Regardless, we are all here to nourish. God WILL use us in the right recipe at the right time, as long as we remember HE is the Chef and we are the dough. There's no hopping out of the mixing bowl or walking out of the oven. Each stage has a purpose that leads to a divine end.
Saturday, February 05, 2005
Hijacked
I've been away for so long!! My computer was taken over by a browser hi-jacker, and I could not access my blog or anyone else's. It was a nightmare getting everything quarantined and operational again. The entire time I was dealing with this frustration, I couldn't help but relate it to how messed up we can become when Satan hi-jacks our lives.
My computer was hi-jacked one day without my knowledge. Some deviant just sneaked in and took over. I'm sure there were other "cookies" and spyware programs that opened the door for this massive take-over, but I was oblivious. I never swept my system for junk like that. Sure, I had "virus protection" installed, but I never ran a deep clean scan of all my files and operating systems to see what might be buried deep inside. Eventually my failure to do the proper maintenance forfeited my freedom to surf the web and I fell victim to the controls of the hi-jackers.
Looking at this from a spiritual perspective, how often have I viewed church attendance as my "virus protection," assuming that my punching a time card will be enough to keep me in line? Satan would love that because he is able to sneak in through some backdoor when we let our guard down. That's what scares me about these internet hi-jackers. I don't know where they come from or how they get in. Truthfully I can't spend all my time worrying about that. As long as I equip myself with the proper tools to search them out and destroy them, I will be okay. So it is with Satan. I don't always know what little thing he is going to use to try and get a foothold in my life. That's why it is so important for me to continually sweep my soul for "spyware" and equip myself with spiritual tools to combat him.
"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8
"Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you - unless of course, you fail the test?" 2 Cor 13: 5
I installed a program on my system called Spyware Doctor that scans my system each time I sign on. It runs other scans at various times and alerts me of "infections" it finds. When I am on the web and am about to enter a site that may have potentially compromising content (as far as spyware, cookies, etc) it will alert me that the site I am entering may contain things that could infect or damage my system and asks me if I want to continue. Before installing this onto my computer, I apparently just stumbled around allowing all kinds of "bacteria" to attach itself to my system.
We have so many tools with which to scan our lives spiritually and be cleansed and prevent infection. God gives us His Spirit, the Word and friends to hold us accountable (just to name a few). If we are not utilizing these tools to keep ourselves in top working condition, we will begin to slow down and eventually be crippled by the fungi and junk that will choke out our spirits.
Prevention is so much easier and more pleasant that re-construction. Once that infection gets into your system and takes over, getting order restored can be very time consuming and painful. That's so true in our lives. Not to say that forgiveness doesn't come quickly, but forgiveness doesn't always undo circumstances. While my system was infected, I was cut off from the outside world. I was stuck here - just me and my problem. During my absence, I was robbed of opportunities to encourage others and be encouraged by them. In essence, my system problem effected more people than just me.
I encourage you today to install some spiritual spyware doctors in your life. Run that deep scan of your system. You might be surprised at how junky it has become. But I guarantee that you will feel a new kind of freedom once that stuff is quarantined and removed!
"Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Heb 12:1
My computer was hi-jacked one day without my knowledge. Some deviant just sneaked in and took over. I'm sure there were other "cookies" and spyware programs that opened the door for this massive take-over, but I was oblivious. I never swept my system for junk like that. Sure, I had "virus protection" installed, but I never ran a deep clean scan of all my files and operating systems to see what might be buried deep inside. Eventually my failure to do the proper maintenance forfeited my freedom to surf the web and I fell victim to the controls of the hi-jackers.
Looking at this from a spiritual perspective, how often have I viewed church attendance as my "virus protection," assuming that my punching a time card will be enough to keep me in line? Satan would love that because he is able to sneak in through some backdoor when we let our guard down. That's what scares me about these internet hi-jackers. I don't know where they come from or how they get in. Truthfully I can't spend all my time worrying about that. As long as I equip myself with the proper tools to search them out and destroy them, I will be okay. So it is with Satan. I don't always know what little thing he is going to use to try and get a foothold in my life. That's why it is so important for me to continually sweep my soul for "spyware" and equip myself with spiritual tools to combat him.
"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8
"Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you - unless of course, you fail the test?" 2 Cor 13: 5
I installed a program on my system called Spyware Doctor that scans my system each time I sign on. It runs other scans at various times and alerts me of "infections" it finds. When I am on the web and am about to enter a site that may have potentially compromising content (as far as spyware, cookies, etc) it will alert me that the site I am entering may contain things that could infect or damage my system and asks me if I want to continue. Before installing this onto my computer, I apparently just stumbled around allowing all kinds of "bacteria" to attach itself to my system.
We have so many tools with which to scan our lives spiritually and be cleansed and prevent infection. God gives us His Spirit, the Word and friends to hold us accountable (just to name a few). If we are not utilizing these tools to keep ourselves in top working condition, we will begin to slow down and eventually be crippled by the fungi and junk that will choke out our spirits.
Prevention is so much easier and more pleasant that re-construction. Once that infection gets into your system and takes over, getting order restored can be very time consuming and painful. That's so true in our lives. Not to say that forgiveness doesn't come quickly, but forgiveness doesn't always undo circumstances. While my system was infected, I was cut off from the outside world. I was stuck here - just me and my problem. During my absence, I was robbed of opportunities to encourage others and be encouraged by them. In essence, my system problem effected more people than just me.
I encourage you today to install some spiritual spyware doctors in your life. Run that deep scan of your system. You might be surprised at how junky it has become. But I guarantee that you will feel a new kind of freedom once that stuff is quarantined and removed!
"Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Heb 12:1
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Ode to Kim
Kim,
I want to thank you for your recent comment. You will never know how much it meant to me! God has spoken to me through you. I feel like God called me several years ago to write. I think He plans to some day make a "ministry" out of it. While I feel completely inadequate and unworthy of writing anything, He keeps pushing me out there.
I am continually amazed at how He works. How He knits people together who have never even met and uses them to encourage, challenge and inspire each other. I guess it is really important to listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit because we never know who He plans to touch through us. When we get wrapped up in ourselves and ignore the Spirit, not only do we miss out--we may be stealing a blessing from someone else. Thank you for being in tune with Him!!!
I promise I have not left Bloggerland. I have so much to share. So many things God has been teaching me lately. It seems I have bitten off a little more than I can chew right now. Along with the new job, I am taking a photography class, co-leading a Bible study and editing/publishing a monthly newsletter for the ladies' ministry at church. At any rate, I've let myself get way too busy! So I've decided to take 1/2 day off work tomorrow to get caught up on some things. Hopefully I will be back to full blogger strength in the next few days!
Quick update: the job is going so much better. I am beginning to settle in. And the cantankerous cube-neighbor? "Ironically" she was put into the hospital right after I started the new job. I think she will be back some time this week. I would never wish ill on her, but it has really allowed me to make peace with my new surroundings with her not being there. (Oddly enough, this is the 5th time in my life that a person who was 'less than pleasant' to me has been removed from my life. 3 died, one moved away and this one was hospitalized. And, no I haven't been putting ground glass in anyone's salad. Interesting though, isn't it?)
Anyway, I am alive and kicking. I am off to bed now. Sometimes I think the best thing we can do for ourselves spiritually is to get some sleep.
Kim, thanks again for the encouragement. Again, you just don't know what that meant to me!!
Blessings~
Aleah
I want to thank you for your recent comment. You will never know how much it meant to me! God has spoken to me through you. I feel like God called me several years ago to write. I think He plans to some day make a "ministry" out of it. While I feel completely inadequate and unworthy of writing anything, He keeps pushing me out there.
I am continually amazed at how He works. How He knits people together who have never even met and uses them to encourage, challenge and inspire each other. I guess it is really important to listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit because we never know who He plans to touch through us. When we get wrapped up in ourselves and ignore the Spirit, not only do we miss out--we may be stealing a blessing from someone else. Thank you for being in tune with Him!!!
I promise I have not left Bloggerland. I have so much to share. So many things God has been teaching me lately. It seems I have bitten off a little more than I can chew right now. Along with the new job, I am taking a photography class, co-leading a Bible study and editing/publishing a monthly newsletter for the ladies' ministry at church. At any rate, I've let myself get way too busy! So I've decided to take 1/2 day off work tomorrow to get caught up on some things. Hopefully I will be back to full blogger strength in the next few days!
Quick update: the job is going so much better. I am beginning to settle in. And the cantankerous cube-neighbor? "Ironically" she was put into the hospital right after I started the new job. I think she will be back some time this week. I would never wish ill on her, but it has really allowed me to make peace with my new surroundings with her not being there. (Oddly enough, this is the 5th time in my life that a person who was 'less than pleasant' to me has been removed from my life. 3 died, one moved away and this one was hospitalized. And, no I haven't been putting ground glass in anyone's salad. Interesting though, isn't it?)
Anyway, I am alive and kicking. I am off to bed now. Sometimes I think the best thing we can do for ourselves spiritually is to get some sleep.
Kim, thanks again for the encouragement. Again, you just don't know what that meant to me!!
Blessings~
Aleah
Friday, January 07, 2005
Low Fuel Light
First of all, let me apologize for this post up front as I am running on fumes, having suffered insomnia for going on 5 nights now. Coherence maybe a lofty goal today...
As I said, I have been battling insomnia for 5 straight nights. At first, I thought maybe my new job was to blame. But today I realized that I am on the tail-end of a week of spiritual warfare. This week seems like a foggy dream to me, at least in my current state of mind.
I took on some new responsibilities at work this week that I feel radically ill-equipped to perform. I have a new cube-neighbor who's negative energy completely permeates a room. Therefore I have been a little stressed. Oddly enough, in the midst of this "stress" I have felt more excitement and heard God speaking more than ever. He has answered prayers left and right. He has proven Himself faithful. He has given me strength, understanding and abilities to do things that do not come naturally to me. I have even taken some steps and done some specific things that have purposely shoved me out of my comfort zone. And I have found very little slumber...
I believe God has awakened me in the middle of the night on several occasions. Each time was different, but each time I just knew it was Him. I was lead to something in His Word that I would not have otherwise known to be there. Each time, the interruption in sleep only served to energize me. But this week, the awakenings I have experienced have been different. They have been empty and draining. With each awakening, my mind has been filled with cobwebs. Random, scattered thoughts shot through my mind like lightning. Never there long enough for cohesion, but loud and bright enough to derail rest. I believe the Enemy was at work.
This morning, I reported to work fully aware of my weakened condition. Before I began work, I stopped to pray, acknowledging to God that I was exhausted-mentally and physically. I knew I would be more susceptible to temptation and attack. I asked for His protection and grace. As I staggered through the day, I could feel my batteries running down. Just as I would think I was going to completely wind down, God would send a charge-a passage from a book, an encouraging email, a kind word, someone speaking the Truth to me. I would be re-energized. But as humans tend to do, I would begin to run down again. Each time, God would provide just enough of a boost to keep me going. At the end of the day, I got in the car to come home, and as I pulled into the street my low fuel light lit up. How appropriate. Suddenly, enough synapses fired for me to realize that I had just gone through a week of spiritual warfare, experiencing highs, discoveries, growth spurts and persecution, ridicule, attack and temptation. Satan does NOT want this to be a year of change for me.
I think it's important to acknowledge when our low fuel lights are blinking. It is inevitable. We need to stop and rest. Even spiritual highs can be draining. Sometimes we just need to rest. Even God rested. We don't have to create the world to need a break. And physical activity is not the only thing responsible for running down our batteries. Sometimes mental and spiritual activity can be equally as exhausting. And that's okay. There are well over 50 verses in the Bible that reference 'rest.'
I yawn as I type this, and I pray that I will find sweet slumber tonight. God created me to run down, to need refreshing, recharging. I'm thankful for my low fuel light alerting me it is time to slow down, get quiet, and enjoy a time of renewal. I pray God's refreshing will pour over me like cool water on a steamy, hot summer day.
"Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you." Psalm 116:7
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty." Psalm 91:1
"...Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest." Mark 6:31b
As I said, I have been battling insomnia for 5 straight nights. At first, I thought maybe my new job was to blame. But today I realized that I am on the tail-end of a week of spiritual warfare. This week seems like a foggy dream to me, at least in my current state of mind.
I took on some new responsibilities at work this week that I feel radically ill-equipped to perform. I have a new cube-neighbor who's negative energy completely permeates a room. Therefore I have been a little stressed. Oddly enough, in the midst of this "stress" I have felt more excitement and heard God speaking more than ever. He has answered prayers left and right. He has proven Himself faithful. He has given me strength, understanding and abilities to do things that do not come naturally to me. I have even taken some steps and done some specific things that have purposely shoved me out of my comfort zone. And I have found very little slumber...
I believe God has awakened me in the middle of the night on several occasions. Each time was different, but each time I just knew it was Him. I was lead to something in His Word that I would not have otherwise known to be there. Each time, the interruption in sleep only served to energize me. But this week, the awakenings I have experienced have been different. They have been empty and draining. With each awakening, my mind has been filled with cobwebs. Random, scattered thoughts shot through my mind like lightning. Never there long enough for cohesion, but loud and bright enough to derail rest. I believe the Enemy was at work.
This morning, I reported to work fully aware of my weakened condition. Before I began work, I stopped to pray, acknowledging to God that I was exhausted-mentally and physically. I knew I would be more susceptible to temptation and attack. I asked for His protection and grace. As I staggered through the day, I could feel my batteries running down. Just as I would think I was going to completely wind down, God would send a charge-a passage from a book, an encouraging email, a kind word, someone speaking the Truth to me. I would be re-energized. But as humans tend to do, I would begin to run down again. Each time, God would provide just enough of a boost to keep me going. At the end of the day, I got in the car to come home, and as I pulled into the street my low fuel light lit up. How appropriate. Suddenly, enough synapses fired for me to realize that I had just gone through a week of spiritual warfare, experiencing highs, discoveries, growth spurts and persecution, ridicule, attack and temptation. Satan does NOT want this to be a year of change for me.
I think it's important to acknowledge when our low fuel lights are blinking. It is inevitable. We need to stop and rest. Even spiritual highs can be draining. Sometimes we just need to rest. Even God rested. We don't have to create the world to need a break. And physical activity is not the only thing responsible for running down our batteries. Sometimes mental and spiritual activity can be equally as exhausting. And that's okay. There are well over 50 verses in the Bible that reference 'rest.'
I yawn as I type this, and I pray that I will find sweet slumber tonight. God created me to run down, to need refreshing, recharging. I'm thankful for my low fuel light alerting me it is time to slow down, get quiet, and enjoy a time of renewal. I pray God's refreshing will pour over me like cool water on a steamy, hot summer day.
"Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you." Psalm 116:7
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty." Psalm 91:1
"...Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest." Mark 6:31b
Thursday, January 06, 2005
A Year Of Change
Last year I declared that 2005 was going to be a year of tremendous change for me. Not change that I necessarily initiated, but major change nonetheless. I really felt God speaking to my heart that some big changes and growth spurts were around the corner. As 2004 drew to a close, I began to feel like an eight year old on Christmas Eve. I relayed my feelings to some other Christians and was told they felt the same way. One girl told me that her pastor had stated that 2005 was going to be a year of tremendous blessings for all Christians everywhere. Long awaited prayers would be answered. Blessings would be in abundance. Growth would be tremendous. The more I prayed, shared with other Christians and eagerly anticipated this new year, the more excited I got.
I spent New Year's Eve with a very close friend who shares my desire and excitement for change, growth, blessing and answered prayers in 2005. We spent 2 1/2 hours praying in the New Year. I have been on a spiritual high since.
One of my goals for this year is to read 52 new books that will challenge me spiritually. One book per week. This week I am reading John Ortberg's "The Life You've Always Wanted." Every time I open that book, I get so excited and inspired and challenged that I have to stop and tell people around me.
I started a new job at work on January 3rd. I have had to move to a new desk, which is right beside the one person in the office that no one wants to be around. She is extremely negative and just down right hateful sometimes. To make matters worse, part of my job responsibilities are taking over some accounts she used to handle. So she is very defensive and suspicious of anything I do. In 2004 and prior, this would have sent my blood pressure through the roof. But not now. 2005 is my year of change! In fact, I was challenged by her attitude this very day. I recalled something I had read in Jon Owen's blog the other day about God not giving us the treatment we deserved, and how we need to remember that when dealing with difficult people. So I jumped up and ran to the bathroom and prayed for God to help me to bless this woman, to serve her, to deal with her in Grace, and for God to give her the peace and joy that is so lacking from her life. When I returned to my desk, she was quiet and I was calm. Excited, actually.
Interestingly, my new assistant is a Christian. So far, every day we have started the day either with prayer or discussion about God and His Word. We often talk about God and what He is saying to us and doing in our lives. I don't think it is a mistake that she and I are sitting next to the office grouch--because she is free to overhear every conversation we have!
Everywhere I turn, God is speaking to me. Tonight I was at the drugstore and happened to pick up a candle. On the box was a word from God. "Let go. Clean the slate and gain courage for a fresh start. Daring starts from within. You have a safe passage to grow beyond your self-imposed limitations. Inside, your life force energy (which I know is God) burns strongly. If you'll listen, you'll discover what your soul is trying to tell you. Imagine yourself soaring like an eagle high above mundane daily details. Suddenly, your soul takes flight. As you soar, you can finally see the larger landscape around you. It's full of new possibilities. Things are clearer. Be alert to what is beginning to awaken in you."
So many things have happened to me this week. So many things have been spoken to my heart. Clouds are starting to part and some things are starting to become clear. Other things that are not yet clear have begun to burn inside me with a passion to seek God for the answers. When I declared 2005 a Year of Change, I didn't realize how abundant and overflowing it would be just in the first week!!! I can't wait to see what the rest of the year holds--not only for me, but for all Christians everywhere!!
I spent New Year's Eve with a very close friend who shares my desire and excitement for change, growth, blessing and answered prayers in 2005. We spent 2 1/2 hours praying in the New Year. I have been on a spiritual high since.
One of my goals for this year is to read 52 new books that will challenge me spiritually. One book per week. This week I am reading John Ortberg's "The Life You've Always Wanted." Every time I open that book, I get so excited and inspired and challenged that I have to stop and tell people around me.
I started a new job at work on January 3rd. I have had to move to a new desk, which is right beside the one person in the office that no one wants to be around. She is extremely negative and just down right hateful sometimes. To make matters worse, part of my job responsibilities are taking over some accounts she used to handle. So she is very defensive and suspicious of anything I do. In 2004 and prior, this would have sent my blood pressure through the roof. But not now. 2005 is my year of change! In fact, I was challenged by her attitude this very day. I recalled something I had read in Jon Owen's blog the other day about God not giving us the treatment we deserved, and how we need to remember that when dealing with difficult people. So I jumped up and ran to the bathroom and prayed for God to help me to bless this woman, to serve her, to deal with her in Grace, and for God to give her the peace and joy that is so lacking from her life. When I returned to my desk, she was quiet and I was calm. Excited, actually.
Interestingly, my new assistant is a Christian. So far, every day we have started the day either with prayer or discussion about God and His Word. We often talk about God and what He is saying to us and doing in our lives. I don't think it is a mistake that she and I are sitting next to the office grouch--because she is free to overhear every conversation we have!
Everywhere I turn, God is speaking to me. Tonight I was at the drugstore and happened to pick up a candle. On the box was a word from God. "Let go. Clean the slate and gain courage for a fresh start. Daring starts from within. You have a safe passage to grow beyond your self-imposed limitations. Inside, your life force energy (which I know is God) burns strongly. If you'll listen, you'll discover what your soul is trying to tell you. Imagine yourself soaring like an eagle high above mundane daily details. Suddenly, your soul takes flight. As you soar, you can finally see the larger landscape around you. It's full of new possibilities. Things are clearer. Be alert to what is beginning to awaken in you."
So many things have happened to me this week. So many things have been spoken to my heart. Clouds are starting to part and some things are starting to become clear. Other things that are not yet clear have begun to burn inside me with a passion to seek God for the answers. When I declared 2005 a Year of Change, I didn't realize how abundant and overflowing it would be just in the first week!!! I can't wait to see what the rest of the year holds--not only for me, but for all Christians everywhere!!
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
The DMV
I've had several people request a viewing of my tragic, albeit comedic driver's license photo. Well, for those of you who've been patiently waiting.....here it is.
Luckily I got my new license last month. I will say, however, the last 4 years with this pic have been interesting!! When I went to renew my license, I was bound and determined to take a better picture this time. I cheesed it up real big. Then she handed me the temporary and said, "You'll get the real thing in 5 weeks. Next.." I took my new license, confident it would be better.... Alas, one of my eyes was on vacation. It was looking off in some other direction. I looked half-crossed eyed. No!! This cannot be. I've spent the last 4 years with a license picture that made me look like a turtle. It was too late. Someone else was already in line, and clerk Bertha was no longer interested in helping me. So I limped out of the DMV with my head hung low. Then, a miracle directly from Heaven. Lo and behold, 5 weeks later I received my new license in the mail. My eye had been restored! The temporary was just a sham, a mockery, a lude trick. Sing praises! Finally, a license picture to be proud of. Anyway---the legendary photo is below. No, it's not an urban legend, not folklore. It really does exist.
I realize those of you who don't know me will not appreciate this. I'll have to post a current photo sometime to give you a point of reference. I promise, I do not look this scary!!
Anyway, this pitiful little photo has brought much laughter over the past 4 years. Sorry it took me so long to pass it on! Enjoy...
Ya gotta love the DMV...
Luckily I got my new license last month. I will say, however, the last 4 years with this pic have been interesting!! When I went to renew my license, I was bound and determined to take a better picture this time. I cheesed it up real big. Then she handed me the temporary and said, "You'll get the real thing in 5 weeks. Next.." I took my new license, confident it would be better.... Alas, one of my eyes was on vacation. It was looking off in some other direction. I looked half-crossed eyed. No!! This cannot be. I've spent the last 4 years with a license picture that made me look like a turtle. It was too late. Someone else was already in line, and clerk Bertha was no longer interested in helping me. So I limped out of the DMV with my head hung low. Then, a miracle directly from Heaven. Lo and behold, 5 weeks later I received my new license in the mail. My eye had been restored! The temporary was just a sham, a mockery, a lude trick. Sing praises! Finally, a license picture to be proud of. Anyway---the legendary photo is below. No, it's not an urban legend, not folklore. It really does exist.
I realize those of you who don't know me will not appreciate this. I'll have to post a current photo sometime to give you a point of reference. I promise, I do not look this scary!!
Anyway, this pitiful little photo has brought much laughter over the past 4 years. Sorry it took me so long to pass it on! Enjoy...
Ya gotta love the DMV...
Covenant Marriage
I was blown away tonight when I turned on the evening news and heard a story on Covenant Marriage. They were featuring the governor from the state of Arkansas. That state has passed a Covenant Marriage law, which allows people to enter into a Covenant Marriage by their choice. A Covenant Marriage is different from a regular marriage because there is mandatory counseling prior to marriage. It is much more difficult to get divorced. There are only a limited number of reasons a divorce will be granted (abuse, imprisonment for a felony, or adultery). There is a mandatory "cooling off" period required (sometimes up to 2 years) before the divorce will be granted.
The idea is to help people see marriage as God intended, a life-long covenant between a man and a woman. So far, 3 states have passed these Covenant Marriage laws. 25 more have proposed them. The Covenant Marriage movement was started in an effort to help lower the divorce rate and bring God back into marriages. The governor of Arkansas is going to renew his marriage vows with his wife and convert their marriage to a covenant marriage in Feb 2005.
You should take a look at the Covenant Marriage site. It's amazing! I am so excited to see that God is finally being brought back into our marriages and even our legislature! Congregations can sign up to be Covenant Marriage congregations. I sure hope this movement takes the country by storm. As Christians, we need to stand up for our marriages and families. If Satan can destroy our families, he can destroy our whole existence. Things have gotten so twisted in our society. It's about time things started to turn around!
The idea is to help people see marriage as God intended, a life-long covenant between a man and a woman. So far, 3 states have passed these Covenant Marriage laws. 25 more have proposed them. The Covenant Marriage movement was started in an effort to help lower the divorce rate and bring God back into marriages. The governor of Arkansas is going to renew his marriage vows with his wife and convert their marriage to a covenant marriage in Feb 2005.
You should take a look at the Covenant Marriage site. It's amazing! I am so excited to see that God is finally being brought back into our marriages and even our legislature! Congregations can sign up to be Covenant Marriage congregations. I sure hope this movement takes the country by storm. As Christians, we need to stand up for our marriages and families. If Satan can destroy our families, he can destroy our whole existence. Things have gotten so twisted in our society. It's about time things started to turn around!
Saturday, December 25, 2004
Merry Christmas!
Well, it's about 6:30 on Christmas morning. I guess millions of children are dragging their parents out of bed to see what Santa brought. They don't realize their parents only got into bed 20 minutes ago. They've been up all night reading directions and trying to assemble various toys. I can't wait to have kids!
The world will arise this morning as one big global family. We all come from different walks of life, different backgrounds, different races. We may not know each other by name, but we are all family. Today, most will arise full of a different kind of spirit. A spirit of giving. A spirit of hope and joy. Everyone slows down just a little, and takes a glimpse outside themselves. We visit Grandma and buy gifts for cousin Fred. We laugh at Aunt Dottie and the mis-matched clothes she wears. Mom will soon be buzzing around the kitchen, cooking for an army. We all kind of come together today. People are more likely to speak in the grocery store and let you over in heavy traffic. Christmas lights twinkle all around. Why can't we have this same spirit all year?
We called the soup kitchen to find out how we could volunteer today. They told us they already had enough volunteers, and we wouldn't be needed. Imagine if they had that problem on a daily basis, not just at Christmas.
While I know this morning will be full of laughter and joy for so many, I am reminded that there are multitudes of people that are suffering this morning. Somewhere out there is a man with no home, sitting under an overpass, trying to keep warm, wishing he had a hot breakfast to wake up to. Someone is lying in a nursing home, and doesn't even realize it's Christmas. All of their memories of past Christmas' have been stolen from them by Alzheimer's. Yet others are filled with grief due to the death of a loved one or memories of past Christmas' that are filled with hurt, anger and sorrow.
What if we all stopped for just a minute today. Stopped and looked around, searched our busy minds for someone that needed a special touch today. Maybe while everyone is snoring in the living room after a huge meal, we could sneak away and bless someone else. Drop by for a short visit. Maybe take someone a piece of pie. Maybe even a phone call. I don't know. It's just a thought. Our world has such great potential. We could be so giving, so thoughtful, so friendly. I know we are capable. We do it once a year.
Last night our family spent time reflecting on Jesus and what a tremendous gift he is to us. My mom and I had picked out different passages from the Bible. Mom printed them out and we passed them around. We went around the room, taking turns reading them. Afterwards we each took turns praying. I can't tell you what a blessing it is to be able to sit and pray with my parents and grandparents. We were discussing the state of our country, families, kids, prayer in schools, etc. My grandmother was telling us how grateful she was to be able to say that everyone in her family was a believer. We stopped to think about it, and it's true. Me, my parents, all of my grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. We're all Christians. I marvel to think that my family, going back for generations, has been raised in Christian homes. I couldn't have asked for a more special gift!
Whatever you do today, I hope you have a very special Christmas!
The world will arise this morning as one big global family. We all come from different walks of life, different backgrounds, different races. We may not know each other by name, but we are all family. Today, most will arise full of a different kind of spirit. A spirit of giving. A spirit of hope and joy. Everyone slows down just a little, and takes a glimpse outside themselves. We visit Grandma and buy gifts for cousin Fred. We laugh at Aunt Dottie and the mis-matched clothes she wears. Mom will soon be buzzing around the kitchen, cooking for an army. We all kind of come together today. People are more likely to speak in the grocery store and let you over in heavy traffic. Christmas lights twinkle all around. Why can't we have this same spirit all year?
We called the soup kitchen to find out how we could volunteer today. They told us they already had enough volunteers, and we wouldn't be needed. Imagine if they had that problem on a daily basis, not just at Christmas.
While I know this morning will be full of laughter and joy for so many, I am reminded that there are multitudes of people that are suffering this morning. Somewhere out there is a man with no home, sitting under an overpass, trying to keep warm, wishing he had a hot breakfast to wake up to. Someone is lying in a nursing home, and doesn't even realize it's Christmas. All of their memories of past Christmas' have been stolen from them by Alzheimer's. Yet others are filled with grief due to the death of a loved one or memories of past Christmas' that are filled with hurt, anger and sorrow.
What if we all stopped for just a minute today. Stopped and looked around, searched our busy minds for someone that needed a special touch today. Maybe while everyone is snoring in the living room after a huge meal, we could sneak away and bless someone else. Drop by for a short visit. Maybe take someone a piece of pie. Maybe even a phone call. I don't know. It's just a thought. Our world has such great potential. We could be so giving, so thoughtful, so friendly. I know we are capable. We do it once a year.
Last night our family spent time reflecting on Jesus and what a tremendous gift he is to us. My mom and I had picked out different passages from the Bible. Mom printed them out and we passed them around. We went around the room, taking turns reading them. Afterwards we each took turns praying. I can't tell you what a blessing it is to be able to sit and pray with my parents and grandparents. We were discussing the state of our country, families, kids, prayer in schools, etc. My grandmother was telling us how grateful she was to be able to say that everyone in her family was a believer. We stopped to think about it, and it's true. Me, my parents, all of my grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. We're all Christians. I marvel to think that my family, going back for generations, has been raised in Christian homes. I couldn't have asked for a more special gift!
Whatever you do today, I hope you have a very special Christmas!
Friday, December 17, 2004
Pusillanimous
Pusillanimous means: lacking courage and resolution; marked by contemptible timidity.
I sometimes struggle with fear and timidity. It seems God whispers things in my ear, things He'd like me to try or things He wants to do through me. Sometimes I listen and act. Sometimes I freak out. I have come to realize that the things I feel led to do that seem impossible and completely off the wall--those are from God. The things I want to do that make sense and have a defined order--those are of me. God doesn't often provide a full set of instructions, rather He lays things out one step at a time. That can be scary.
The good news is, I don't have to be pusillanimous!
God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. 2 Tim 1:7
What makes us afraid as Christians? Sometimes it is fear of rejection or embarrassment. Fear of the unknown. Fear of loss or pain. Satan can sell us on fear of just about anything.
Sometimes we worry about being laughed at, abandoned or mistreated by the world. If we aren't getting some type of flack from the world, we probably aren't being as effective as we could be. That's not to say we have to go around offending everyone we meet. But there should be a definite sense of difference between us and the world. Sometimes that comes in being left out of certain groups at work or school. It may mean being made fun of. Maybe we are lied about by people trying to ruin our reputation. Or maybe it just means having to separate yourself from old friends who don't share your belief system. No matter the specifics, that sense of alienation or separation can be scary at times.
But God's Word says:
Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. Do not fear their threats. Do not be frightened. 1 Peter 3:13-14
When we fear stepping out into the unknown, seemingly alone - God is there. He has gone ahead of us. He has prepared the way. In 1 Corinthians, Paul said, "If Timothy comes, see to it that he has nothing to fear while he is with you, for he is carrying on the work of the Lord." (I Cor 16:10) God may send others to our aid. He may give us the strength internally. However He chooses to encourage and strengthen us, we can be assured He will not leave us dangling out there alone. Why would He call us to do something completely outside the scope of our abilities and then not equip us to carry it out? That doesn't make sense. His goal is to be gloried and to further His Kingdom. He isn't pulling the wings off of the proverbial butterfly.
Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, because He has come and has redeemed his people; to rescue us from the hand of our enemies, and to enable us to serve Him without fear in holiness and righteousness before Him all our days. Luke 1:68, 74-75
Remember when you were a kid and your parents told you to do something? When you asked why, they said, "Because I said so." Sometimes they didn't give you a reason. God is often like that. But the request is always for our own good. As His children, He wants what is best for us, and He wants to see us grow. Sometimes growth comes from being forced to do scary things. What if your parents had not made you brave the darkness as a child and sleep in your own bed? Would you have been sleeping in between your parents at age 17? What if they had not allowed you to fall on your fanny numerous times as you learned to walk? Would they have been carrying you around in some huge kiddy sling at age 10? Sometimes growth and change is scary, but it can be oh so productive--not only for us, but for others as well. Just remember, He is our Father and He has our best interest at heart!
You did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the spirit of sonship. Romans 8:15
Facing fear can also bring enormous freedom. Think in practical terms. I am afraid to fly on an airplane. But if I ever decide to go to Europe, it will take me forever to get there by land and sea. Look at the freedom I can gain by getting into one of those caskets with wings (sorry!). Facing fears in one area can liberate us in other areas as well. Once you realize that fear won't kill you, it has less power in your life.
God can use fear to teach us about His power. He can use it as an exercise in faith. What better way to build our trust in Him than for us to experience Him catching us over and over each time we fall? God doesn't always make sense to us. He does things in an order that we often don't understand. But He is God. He's been doing this for a really long time. I think He's got a pretty good handle on things, whether I understand it or not. Rather than focus on the fear, the key is to focus on the Father. He IS faithful, and He WILL guide, protect and catch us if we seek Him.
Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 9:10
I sometimes struggle with fear and timidity. It seems God whispers things in my ear, things He'd like me to try or things He wants to do through me. Sometimes I listen and act. Sometimes I freak out. I have come to realize that the things I feel led to do that seem impossible and completely off the wall--those are from God. The things I want to do that make sense and have a defined order--those are of me. God doesn't often provide a full set of instructions, rather He lays things out one step at a time. That can be scary.
The good news is, I don't have to be pusillanimous!
God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. 2 Tim 1:7
What makes us afraid as Christians? Sometimes it is fear of rejection or embarrassment. Fear of the unknown. Fear of loss or pain. Satan can sell us on fear of just about anything.
Sometimes we worry about being laughed at, abandoned or mistreated by the world. If we aren't getting some type of flack from the world, we probably aren't being as effective as we could be. That's not to say we have to go around offending everyone we meet. But there should be a definite sense of difference between us and the world. Sometimes that comes in being left out of certain groups at work or school. It may mean being made fun of. Maybe we are lied about by people trying to ruin our reputation. Or maybe it just means having to separate yourself from old friends who don't share your belief system. No matter the specifics, that sense of alienation or separation can be scary at times.
But God's Word says:
Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. Do not fear their threats. Do not be frightened. 1 Peter 3:13-14
When we fear stepping out into the unknown, seemingly alone - God is there. He has gone ahead of us. He has prepared the way. In 1 Corinthians, Paul said, "If Timothy comes, see to it that he has nothing to fear while he is with you, for he is carrying on the work of the Lord." (I Cor 16:10) God may send others to our aid. He may give us the strength internally. However He chooses to encourage and strengthen us, we can be assured He will not leave us dangling out there alone. Why would He call us to do something completely outside the scope of our abilities and then not equip us to carry it out? That doesn't make sense. His goal is to be gloried and to further His Kingdom. He isn't pulling the wings off of the proverbial butterfly.
Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, because He has come and has redeemed his people; to rescue us from the hand of our enemies, and to enable us to serve Him without fear in holiness and righteousness before Him all our days. Luke 1:68, 74-75
Remember when you were a kid and your parents told you to do something? When you asked why, they said, "Because I said so." Sometimes they didn't give you a reason. God is often like that. But the request is always for our own good. As His children, He wants what is best for us, and He wants to see us grow. Sometimes growth comes from being forced to do scary things. What if your parents had not made you brave the darkness as a child and sleep in your own bed? Would you have been sleeping in between your parents at age 17? What if they had not allowed you to fall on your fanny numerous times as you learned to walk? Would they have been carrying you around in some huge kiddy sling at age 10? Sometimes growth and change is scary, but it can be oh so productive--not only for us, but for others as well. Just remember, He is our Father and He has our best interest at heart!
You did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the spirit of sonship. Romans 8:15
Facing fear can also bring enormous freedom. Think in practical terms. I am afraid to fly on an airplane. But if I ever decide to go to Europe, it will take me forever to get there by land and sea. Look at the freedom I can gain by getting into one of those caskets with wings (sorry!). Facing fears in one area can liberate us in other areas as well. Once you realize that fear won't kill you, it has less power in your life.
God can use fear to teach us about His power. He can use it as an exercise in faith. What better way to build our trust in Him than for us to experience Him catching us over and over each time we fall? God doesn't always make sense to us. He does things in an order that we often don't understand. But He is God. He's been doing this for a really long time. I think He's got a pretty good handle on things, whether I understand it or not. Rather than focus on the fear, the key is to focus on the Father. He IS faithful, and He WILL guide, protect and catch us if we seek Him.
Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 9:10
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Happy Anniversary
I'd like to say a big, "Happy Anniversary to Tim & Rhonda!!" Today is my parents 37th wedding anniversary. I know most people think they have the best parents in the world, but I hate to break it to you---mine are the best!!
I don't know much about raising kids because I don't have any. But I do know about being raised. My parents were always real with me. I've seen them fight, cry, get angry, apologize, laugh, pray, worry, scold, teach, serve, study, hurt, succeed, mourn, comfort, the list could go on and on. My parents have been such a huge part of my coming to know Christ. I hope I am half the parent they are when I have children.
I can remember my mom making me sit and read to her at night. I hated every minute of it. I wanted to be off running around and playing. But she made me read to her anyway. Now I want to be a writer. When I started wearing make-up, my mom took me to the Estee Lauder counter at the mall and had them do me up right. She didn't want me to look like a clown, so she invested the time and money to help me learn how to wear it. She even took me to "charm school" one summer. She went with me. We learned how to sit properly, walk properly, talk, etc. My mom loves to learn. Through the years I have gone to cooking classes, sewing classes, basket-weaving, painting, drawing. Some of the classes were for me, some were for her and she dragged me along. It taught me the value of being your own person-pursuing your own interests, despite being a wife and mother. In addition to classes on cake decorating, flower arranging, and becoming a Master Gardener through the County Extension service, my mom also went to college when she was in her 40's and finished her degree in Psychology.
In addition to all that learning, she has also taught me how to serve. I can't tell you how many nursing homes and little old widow ladies I have visited over the years with her. I also marveled when she taught Sunday school and all the flip charts and puppets and bulletin boards she created. We've taken countless casseroles to sick people, new mothers, grieving families, etc. She has helped raise money for a paralyzed lady and taken in visiting missionaries. She has taken on many of my friends as if they were her own, welcoming them into our home-even inviting them to spend Christmas with our family. When I was in college, our house was often the local hang-out. Sometimes the living room would be so full of people that you could barely walk through. My parents would retreat to their room and leave the house to us (I think they were mostly relieved to know I wasn't out tying one on somewhere!).
My mom reaches out to all kinds of people. One Christmas, we had a house full of people that had no families. They all became part of our family that year. We ate until we were sick, played games, watched Christmas movies, etc.
My mom has also taught me to laugh. We can get cracked up at some of the most off the wall things. We almost had to leave the theater when we saw "Bruce Almighty" together because we were laughing so hard. And if she ever gets tickled at a TV show, you can be sure that you will hear her laughter no matter where you are in the house. Many times my dad and I have been drawn out of another room, completely intrigued and amused by her hysterical laughter. She loves to go to Hallmark stores and read funny cards. She doesn't mind the stares and whispers. She just laughs all the more.
My mom has celebrated victories with me, cried with me over broken hearts, and even taught me about men by rebuking me when I didn't treat boyfriends the way I should.
Most importantly I recall all the times I observed her curled up in a chair with her Bible and a notebook. I remember all the times we've prayed together and discussed God's Word and His Will. She has taught me to know what I believe and why, to stand up for what's right, to depend on God and to trust Him with everything.
As for my dad, I remember all the Sundays when we would have "dinner on the grounds" at church, and he stood patiently waiting until everyone in the place had fixed their plate before he would eat. He's always been a leader in the church, teaching Sunday school, serving as a deacon, leading a small group. When I was a teenager, we went to a small church that had no youth minister. My parents made sure we had activities, devo's, went to youth rallies, etc. My dad even wrote a newsletter for the youth group. He wanted to make sure I had as much exposure to Christ as possible at that critical age in my life.
I can remember many nights we have sat up late talking about all kinds of things, anywhere from boys to the Bible to fears/doubts/decisions to hobbies. My dad is a counselor by trade now, but he hasn't always been (at least not to the general public!). I guess I was good practice for him! Recently we had a hurricane come through our town, and my dad called one of the emergency shelters and offered to come give free counseling if anyone there needed it.
My dad isn't afraid to stand up for what he believes in. He will boycott companies that support/promote ungodly things. He keeps up with what's going on in the world. He isn't afraid to enter into an "intelligent discussion" with anyone and vocalize his viewpoint, even if it is different from theirs. I have seen him pouring over the Word and studying for hours on end. His collection of commentaries and other Biblical reference books always makes me salivate.
My dad just seems to know everything. I'm sure everyone thinks their dad is the smartest man alive, but mine really seems to be! You can ask him about almost anything. He might not be an expert on the topic, but you can almost bet he knows something about it. It's amazing. He exposes himself to a lot, so he absorbs a lot. He watches the news, the History channel, the Discovery channel, listens to Christian radio, etc. He uses words I've never even heard of sometimes. My mom and I joke that we need a dictionary to understand him.
My dad has also given me the gift of independence. Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean my dad didn't stick a power tool in my hand and teach me how to fix it myself (or at least try). I have spent countless hours with him underneath my car (now I will say that I have no clue how to fix cars, but I am good at handing out tools...). He has given me the confidence to try things for myself. I have replaced pipes under my kitchen sink, repaired toilets, built things with wood and power saws and drills--all because he refused to let me be helpless. I love him for that.
My dad and I are good at making each other cry. He's written things for my high school graduation, given me jewelry with a special analogy tied in, made those "dad" speeches about being proud... I tell him he is getting sappy in his old age. I can write him a card, and tears will glisten in his eyes (he's probably crying reading this blog right now!).
My dad also loves to laugh. Some of my favorite memories are around the dining room table, telling stories and acting crazy. Heads thrown back, laughter abounds.
When I was young, we used to live in North Alabama where it actually snowed from time to time. My dad would tie a rope to the handle of a metal trash can lid, sit me on it and take off running down the street. He also used to grab my knees and squeeze them, telling me that was how a cow ate corn-which of course used to send me straight to the floor in a fit of laughter (I am very ticklish).
I am so very lucky to have these two wonderful people in my life. They have taught (and continue to teach) me so much. I am where I am as a person and as a Christian because of them. I couldn't have picked a better family to have been born into. I am eternally grateful to God for the wonderful gift that is my family!!
I love y'all~~
Our little family way back when (1973)
I don't know much about raising kids because I don't have any. But I do know about being raised. My parents were always real with me. I've seen them fight, cry, get angry, apologize, laugh, pray, worry, scold, teach, serve, study, hurt, succeed, mourn, comfort, the list could go on and on. My parents have been such a huge part of my coming to know Christ. I hope I am half the parent they are when I have children.
I can remember my mom making me sit and read to her at night. I hated every minute of it. I wanted to be off running around and playing. But she made me read to her anyway. Now I want to be a writer. When I started wearing make-up, my mom took me to the Estee Lauder counter at the mall and had them do me up right. She didn't want me to look like a clown, so she invested the time and money to help me learn how to wear it. She even took me to "charm school" one summer. She went with me. We learned how to sit properly, walk properly, talk, etc. My mom loves to learn. Through the years I have gone to cooking classes, sewing classes, basket-weaving, painting, drawing. Some of the classes were for me, some were for her and she dragged me along. It taught me the value of being your own person-pursuing your own interests, despite being a wife and mother. In addition to classes on cake decorating, flower arranging, and becoming a Master Gardener through the County Extension service, my mom also went to college when she was in her 40's and finished her degree in Psychology.
In addition to all that learning, she has also taught me how to serve. I can't tell you how many nursing homes and little old widow ladies I have visited over the years with her. I also marveled when she taught Sunday school and all the flip charts and puppets and bulletin boards she created. We've taken countless casseroles to sick people, new mothers, grieving families, etc. She has helped raise money for a paralyzed lady and taken in visiting missionaries. She has taken on many of my friends as if they were her own, welcoming them into our home-even inviting them to spend Christmas with our family. When I was in college, our house was often the local hang-out. Sometimes the living room would be so full of people that you could barely walk through. My parents would retreat to their room and leave the house to us (I think they were mostly relieved to know I wasn't out tying one on somewhere!).
My mom reaches out to all kinds of people. One Christmas, we had a house full of people that had no families. They all became part of our family that year. We ate until we were sick, played games, watched Christmas movies, etc.
My mom has also taught me to laugh. We can get cracked up at some of the most off the wall things. We almost had to leave the theater when we saw "Bruce Almighty" together because we were laughing so hard. And if she ever gets tickled at a TV show, you can be sure that you will hear her laughter no matter where you are in the house. Many times my dad and I have been drawn out of another room, completely intrigued and amused by her hysterical laughter. She loves to go to Hallmark stores and read funny cards. She doesn't mind the stares and whispers. She just laughs all the more.
My mom has celebrated victories with me, cried with me over broken hearts, and even taught me about men by rebuking me when I didn't treat boyfriends the way I should.
Most importantly I recall all the times I observed her curled up in a chair with her Bible and a notebook. I remember all the times we've prayed together and discussed God's Word and His Will. She has taught me to know what I believe and why, to stand up for what's right, to depend on God and to trust Him with everything.
As for my dad, I remember all the Sundays when we would have "dinner on the grounds" at church, and he stood patiently waiting until everyone in the place had fixed their plate before he would eat. He's always been a leader in the church, teaching Sunday school, serving as a deacon, leading a small group. When I was a teenager, we went to a small church that had no youth minister. My parents made sure we had activities, devo's, went to youth rallies, etc. My dad even wrote a newsletter for the youth group. He wanted to make sure I had as much exposure to Christ as possible at that critical age in my life.
I can remember many nights we have sat up late talking about all kinds of things, anywhere from boys to the Bible to fears/doubts/decisions to hobbies. My dad is a counselor by trade now, but he hasn't always been (at least not to the general public!). I guess I was good practice for him! Recently we had a hurricane come through our town, and my dad called one of the emergency shelters and offered to come give free counseling if anyone there needed it.
My dad isn't afraid to stand up for what he believes in. He will boycott companies that support/promote ungodly things. He keeps up with what's going on in the world. He isn't afraid to enter into an "intelligent discussion" with anyone and vocalize his viewpoint, even if it is different from theirs. I have seen him pouring over the Word and studying for hours on end. His collection of commentaries and other Biblical reference books always makes me salivate.
My dad just seems to know everything. I'm sure everyone thinks their dad is the smartest man alive, but mine really seems to be! You can ask him about almost anything. He might not be an expert on the topic, but you can almost bet he knows something about it. It's amazing. He exposes himself to a lot, so he absorbs a lot. He watches the news, the History channel, the Discovery channel, listens to Christian radio, etc. He uses words I've never even heard of sometimes. My mom and I joke that we need a dictionary to understand him.
My dad has also given me the gift of independence. Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean my dad didn't stick a power tool in my hand and teach me how to fix it myself (or at least try). I have spent countless hours with him underneath my car (now I will say that I have no clue how to fix cars, but I am good at handing out tools...). He has given me the confidence to try things for myself. I have replaced pipes under my kitchen sink, repaired toilets, built things with wood and power saws and drills--all because he refused to let me be helpless. I love him for that.
My dad and I are good at making each other cry. He's written things for my high school graduation, given me jewelry with a special analogy tied in, made those "dad" speeches about being proud... I tell him he is getting sappy in his old age. I can write him a card, and tears will glisten in his eyes (he's probably crying reading this blog right now!).
My dad also loves to laugh. Some of my favorite memories are around the dining room table, telling stories and acting crazy. Heads thrown back, laughter abounds.
When I was young, we used to live in North Alabama where it actually snowed from time to time. My dad would tie a rope to the handle of a metal trash can lid, sit me on it and take off running down the street. He also used to grab my knees and squeeze them, telling me that was how a cow ate corn-which of course used to send me straight to the floor in a fit of laughter (I am very ticklish).
I am so very lucky to have these two wonderful people in my life. They have taught (and continue to teach) me so much. I am where I am as a person and as a Christian because of them. I couldn't have picked a better family to have been born into. I am eternally grateful to God for the wonderful gift that is my family!!
I love y'all~~
Our little family way back when (1973)
Saturday, December 11, 2004
Worthy Vessels
Recently I met an awesome lady by the name of Kitty Tilson. She is a potter, living completely on faith. A few years ago, Kitty was living in a rental house in North Alabama. She had never owned her own home, but had always dreamed of living in a log cabin. The time came when her landlord decided to sell the house she was renting. For various reasons, Kitty couldn't buy the house. She was in a quandary about where to live. Some friends asked her to move to Utah with them, so she did. Living there just didn't feel right to her. Her heart was in North Alabama. And she still wanted a log cabin.
One day she got a phone call from a friend telling her about a cabin for sale in North Alabama. Kitty had looked at a few cabins there, and thought she had already seen this one. She wasn't interested. But her friend persisted. This was a cabin Kitty had never seen before. So Kitty decided to take a look.
She had been praying for God to give her a place to call home. She specifically told God that she wanted a place with lots of trees, a creek, at the end of a dirt road, and it had to have a place for her to use as a pottery studio. She decided she wouldn't ask for the log cabin because she didn't want to be greedy.
When Kitty and her friend arrived to look at the property, it was at the end of a dirt road, surrounded by trees and had a creek. There was a separate building that could be used as a studio. Oh, and the house was a log cabin!
As they were walking around with the realtor, Kitty was having a serious prayer session in her head. She had never owned a home before, and this one would need a lot of work. She asked God to give her a sign that this was the place He wanted her to buy. While she was in the middle of her prayer, her friend asked the realtor what the name of the creek was. (Kitty was mildly irritated by this because she was over here praying her heart out in her mind. Who cared about the name of the creek...) The realtor's reply was, "Oh, the creek is called Kitty Branch." Kitty decided to buy the property that day!
Kitty's place is amazing. It's almost dream-like. The cabin has a screened porch on the back. From the porch, you can hear the creek running over the rocks. Her grass is a plush green. Behind the cabin, on the other side of the creek, the tree-covered land slopes upward giving her total privacy. Her pottery studio is next to the cabin. Inside, the cabin is so warm and inviting. To get to the original bedroom, you have to climb a ladder-like staircase through a hole in the living room ceiling (kind of like Little House on the Prairie). The cabin is the old style with a dog-trot. On the other side of the dog-trot, she has built a 2 story addition with 2 more bedrooms and bathrooms. She uses her dog-trot to display her pottery. (The next time I go I will take some pictures)
Kitty lives solely off of her pottery sales. People come to her home, and she travels to trade shows. The day we went to see her, she made hot cocoa and homemade gingersnaps for everyone. It felt like we were stepping into a Christmas card.
If you are ever in North Alabama, you should give Kitty a call. You will be blessed by her heart and her testimony. Her pottery is beautiful as well.
She calls her business Worthy Vessels.
Kitty Tilson
211 County Road 494
Lexington, AL 35648
(256) 229-POTS
"My life and work are centered around my love relationship with Jesus. In Him flows all life and because of Him my life sweetly flows here in North Alabama.
You are welcome to come and visit anytime. Just call ahead.
I hope you enjoy the pottery and that it points you to Him who is everything, Jesus."
-Kitty Tilson
Bless all my skills, O Lord, and be pleased with the work of my hands. -Deut. 33:11
One day she got a phone call from a friend telling her about a cabin for sale in North Alabama. Kitty had looked at a few cabins there, and thought she had already seen this one. She wasn't interested. But her friend persisted. This was a cabin Kitty had never seen before. So Kitty decided to take a look.
She had been praying for God to give her a place to call home. She specifically told God that she wanted a place with lots of trees, a creek, at the end of a dirt road, and it had to have a place for her to use as a pottery studio. She decided she wouldn't ask for the log cabin because she didn't want to be greedy.
When Kitty and her friend arrived to look at the property, it was at the end of a dirt road, surrounded by trees and had a creek. There was a separate building that could be used as a studio. Oh, and the house was a log cabin!
As they were walking around with the realtor, Kitty was having a serious prayer session in her head. She had never owned a home before, and this one would need a lot of work. She asked God to give her a sign that this was the place He wanted her to buy. While she was in the middle of her prayer, her friend asked the realtor what the name of the creek was. (Kitty was mildly irritated by this because she was over here praying her heart out in her mind. Who cared about the name of the creek...) The realtor's reply was, "Oh, the creek is called Kitty Branch." Kitty decided to buy the property that day!
Kitty's place is amazing. It's almost dream-like. The cabin has a screened porch on the back. From the porch, you can hear the creek running over the rocks. Her grass is a plush green. Behind the cabin, on the other side of the creek, the tree-covered land slopes upward giving her total privacy. Her pottery studio is next to the cabin. Inside, the cabin is so warm and inviting. To get to the original bedroom, you have to climb a ladder-like staircase through a hole in the living room ceiling (kind of like Little House on the Prairie). The cabin is the old style with a dog-trot. On the other side of the dog-trot, she has built a 2 story addition with 2 more bedrooms and bathrooms. She uses her dog-trot to display her pottery. (The next time I go I will take some pictures)
Kitty lives solely off of her pottery sales. People come to her home, and she travels to trade shows. The day we went to see her, she made hot cocoa and homemade gingersnaps for everyone. It felt like we were stepping into a Christmas card.
If you are ever in North Alabama, you should give Kitty a call. You will be blessed by her heart and her testimony. Her pottery is beautiful as well.
She calls her business Worthy Vessels.
Kitty Tilson
211 County Road 494
Lexington, AL 35648
(256) 229-POTS
"My life and work are centered around my love relationship with Jesus. In Him flows all life and because of Him my life sweetly flows here in North Alabama.
You are welcome to come and visit anytime. Just call ahead.
I hope you enjoy the pottery and that it points you to Him who is everything, Jesus."
-Kitty Tilson
Bless all my skills, O Lord, and be pleased with the work of my hands. -Deut. 33:11
Monday, December 06, 2004
In the world vs Of the world
Today I found out that a friend of mine (we'll call her Melissa) was attacked at her home last week. She went out to her car around 10:00 pm to get something out of the trunk. Two men drove up and one chased her to her house. They fought at the door. Although she was finally able to get the door closed and locked, he kicked it in - completely destroying the door frame. She was screaming prayers at the top of her lungs. Even though she and her 8 year old daughter live alone, she called out to her "husband" to get the gun because someone was breaking in. When the man heard this, he backed out of the house. He stood outside the door as she called 911. She told the 911 operator that she and her daughter lived alone and had no way to defend themselves. I'm sure the man heard the conversation, yet he never re-entered the house. Eventually he ran off. She lives in my neighborhood. The men were never caught.
"Stephanie" is another friend who is 32 and recently found out she has cancer. She had learned she was pregnant the week before. The doctor wanted her to terminate the pregnancy so they could begin treating her cancer. She refused. Her son is now 6 months old and she is currently undergoing chemo.
"Brandy" is living as a single mom. Her husband shot himself several years ago. She has two sons, but one of them was taken away because she simply couldn't care for him. He lives with his grandparents. She and her smallest son live in a tiny apartment. For his last birthday, I baked a cake, bought toys and decorations because she couldn't afford to give him anything for his birthday. The church helped her with some of her bills just so she could get through the month. She was recently fired from her job.
"Peter" used to live in Los Angeles. He was a member of a gang called the bloods. When he went to L.A. to visit, he and a friend were off to see some guy the friend had business with. Peter didn't realize the business was murder. His friend stabbed the guy multiple times and put him in a coma. Peter was caught by the police. Rather than rat out his friend, Peter sat in jail until the guy came out of the coma and cleared him.
"Libby" used to do drugs. She went to clubs, slept with an untold number of strangers. She'd sometimes wake up on the sidewalk, not remembering how she got there. She traveled with a band for a while, smoking, drinking, living life on the edge. She's in rehab now.
"Andrea" was married to an abusive husband. Every day when he left for work, he would remove the spark plugs from her car so she couldn't go anywhere. They lived too far out for her to walk anywhere. They had no phone. She was stuck all day. The trailer they lived in would get so cold in the winter that the water in the toilet would freeze. She and her small son would sit in a bedroom all day trying to stay warm, waiting for hubby to come home and beat them some more.
"Daniel" was always in trouble with the law. He was arrested for grand theft auto, threat with a deadly weapon with intent to kill, among other things. One night it all came to head when he committed yet another crime. The courts gave him the option of jail or the military. He chose the military. When he was alerted he would be going to Iraq, he almost went AWOL. Instead he decided to fulfill his duty, so he went. Even though the military was supposed to turn his life around, he still wound up killing people. It was just government sanctioned now.
"Wendy" was a 17 year old girl who had been abused as a child. She was adopted by a nice Christian family when she was 6. No matter how much they loved her, the damage was already done. She grew up being a wild party-girl who lied to everyone. One night she disappeared from a party like a vapor. They found her skeleton 1 year later. She had been murdered 3 miles from home.
These people are all friends of mine. There are countless more.
Cocaine. Abortion. Adultery. Alcoholism. Violence. Prison. HIV. Murder.
To hear me talk, it sounds like I run around with a band of thugs. I don't. These people are all fairly normal. They look normal. They have normal jobs. I've worked with some of them. I've gone to church with some of them. I've even dated a couple of them.
I am just struck sometimes be the enormous effect of sin in our world. I am constantly made aware of sin by words and conversations I hear, things on TV, things in the paper, etc. But to stop and think about all the people that have crossed my path over the years whose lives have been ripped to bits by Satan. Sometimes I am just taken aback.
My new motto is "No one ever changed the world by being like the world or hiding from the world." If you had told me when I was 14 that in the course of my life I would have close friends that had these kinds of life scars, I would have told you that you were crazy. I would have thought helping "people like that" would be too overwhelming. Yet I find a great sense of peace in it. I guess I never realized until recently that God has called me to minister to all kinds of people in all kinds of ways.
I feel so completely inadequate to help anyone. I am so scattered, so spastic. Yet God keeps putting these people on my door step. I am so humbled by that. Sometimes I feel so helpless. Especially when I don't see the fruits of my labor. My first experience with the crude reality of sin came when I was 15. I was spending the night with my friend "Natalie." Her parents were hopped up on LSD. They were an upscale family, certainly higher on the financial food chain than my family. I remember sitting in Nat's bedroom, huddled together with the door closed as we listened to her parents yell and throw things in the other room. It seemed like it went on for hours. Probably did. It scared me to death, but at least that was one night Natalie didn't have to endure alone. The next morning I remember going to the restroom and seeing her dad's Playboy magazines scattered all about. That life was so foreign to me. I did finally get Natalie to go to church with me. She spent a lot of time at my house. We were such close friends. I had such high hopes for her. She was the first girl I knew to lose her virginity, which spawned her "extra-curricular activities" for the remainder of our high school days. I don't know where she is now, but I have to believe she came into my life for a reason.
I am humbled to think that God could use me to help anyone. Yet I am grateful He chooses to use messed up people. One because He receives all the glory even more. Two because it reminds me that there is hope for us all. The people I spoke of earlier are real. Not one of those stories is fiction. They are only a small fraction of what goes on all the time in our world. Those people are us. We are them. I'm grateful God can use ANYONE, even me, to do His work. None of us is a lost cause.
And Christ died for every last murderous, lying, alcoholic, lustful, greedy, crack-head one of us!
Just remember, NO ONE EVER CHANGED THE WORLD BY BEING LIKE THE WORLD OR HIDING FROM THE WORLD!
Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence. 1 Jn 3:18-19
Be imitators of God and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Eph 5:1-2
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. 1 Peter 4:8-10
"Stephanie" is another friend who is 32 and recently found out she has cancer. She had learned she was pregnant the week before. The doctor wanted her to terminate the pregnancy so they could begin treating her cancer. She refused. Her son is now 6 months old and she is currently undergoing chemo.
"Brandy" is living as a single mom. Her husband shot himself several years ago. She has two sons, but one of them was taken away because she simply couldn't care for him. He lives with his grandparents. She and her smallest son live in a tiny apartment. For his last birthday, I baked a cake, bought toys and decorations because she couldn't afford to give him anything for his birthday. The church helped her with some of her bills just so she could get through the month. She was recently fired from her job.
"Peter" used to live in Los Angeles. He was a member of a gang called the bloods. When he went to L.A. to visit, he and a friend were off to see some guy the friend had business with. Peter didn't realize the business was murder. His friend stabbed the guy multiple times and put him in a coma. Peter was caught by the police. Rather than rat out his friend, Peter sat in jail until the guy came out of the coma and cleared him.
"Libby" used to do drugs. She went to clubs, slept with an untold number of strangers. She'd sometimes wake up on the sidewalk, not remembering how she got there. She traveled with a band for a while, smoking, drinking, living life on the edge. She's in rehab now.
"Andrea" was married to an abusive husband. Every day when he left for work, he would remove the spark plugs from her car so she couldn't go anywhere. They lived too far out for her to walk anywhere. They had no phone. She was stuck all day. The trailer they lived in would get so cold in the winter that the water in the toilet would freeze. She and her small son would sit in a bedroom all day trying to stay warm, waiting for hubby to come home and beat them some more.
"Daniel" was always in trouble with the law. He was arrested for grand theft auto, threat with a deadly weapon with intent to kill, among other things. One night it all came to head when he committed yet another crime. The courts gave him the option of jail or the military. He chose the military. When he was alerted he would be going to Iraq, he almost went AWOL. Instead he decided to fulfill his duty, so he went. Even though the military was supposed to turn his life around, he still wound up killing people. It was just government sanctioned now.
"Wendy" was a 17 year old girl who had been abused as a child. She was adopted by a nice Christian family when she was 6. No matter how much they loved her, the damage was already done. She grew up being a wild party-girl who lied to everyone. One night she disappeared from a party like a vapor. They found her skeleton 1 year later. She had been murdered 3 miles from home.
These people are all friends of mine. There are countless more.
Cocaine. Abortion. Adultery. Alcoholism. Violence. Prison. HIV. Murder.
To hear me talk, it sounds like I run around with a band of thugs. I don't. These people are all fairly normal. They look normal. They have normal jobs. I've worked with some of them. I've gone to church with some of them. I've even dated a couple of them.
I am just struck sometimes be the enormous effect of sin in our world. I am constantly made aware of sin by words and conversations I hear, things on TV, things in the paper, etc. But to stop and think about all the people that have crossed my path over the years whose lives have been ripped to bits by Satan. Sometimes I am just taken aback.
My new motto is "No one ever changed the world by being like the world or hiding from the world." If you had told me when I was 14 that in the course of my life I would have close friends that had these kinds of life scars, I would have told you that you were crazy. I would have thought helping "people like that" would be too overwhelming. Yet I find a great sense of peace in it. I guess I never realized until recently that God has called me to minister to all kinds of people in all kinds of ways.
I feel so completely inadequate to help anyone. I am so scattered, so spastic. Yet God keeps putting these people on my door step. I am so humbled by that. Sometimes I feel so helpless. Especially when I don't see the fruits of my labor. My first experience with the crude reality of sin came when I was 15. I was spending the night with my friend "Natalie." Her parents were hopped up on LSD. They were an upscale family, certainly higher on the financial food chain than my family. I remember sitting in Nat's bedroom, huddled together with the door closed as we listened to her parents yell and throw things in the other room. It seemed like it went on for hours. Probably did. It scared me to death, but at least that was one night Natalie didn't have to endure alone. The next morning I remember going to the restroom and seeing her dad's Playboy magazines scattered all about. That life was so foreign to me. I did finally get Natalie to go to church with me. She spent a lot of time at my house. We were such close friends. I had such high hopes for her. She was the first girl I knew to lose her virginity, which spawned her "extra-curricular activities" for the remainder of our high school days. I don't know where she is now, but I have to believe she came into my life for a reason.
I am humbled to think that God could use me to help anyone. Yet I am grateful He chooses to use messed up people. One because He receives all the glory even more. Two because it reminds me that there is hope for us all. The people I spoke of earlier are real. Not one of those stories is fiction. They are only a small fraction of what goes on all the time in our world. Those people are us. We are them. I'm grateful God can use ANYONE, even me, to do His work. None of us is a lost cause.
And Christ died for every last murderous, lying, alcoholic, lustful, greedy, crack-head one of us!
Just remember, NO ONE EVER CHANGED THE WORLD BY BEING LIKE THE WORLD OR HIDING FROM THE WORLD!
Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence. 1 Jn 3:18-19
Be imitators of God and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Eph 5:1-2
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. 1 Peter 4:8-10
Elmo Rocks!
Well, it's been about a hundred years since my last post. Sorry to say that I am one of those people with a commitment problem. I love "new toys" and things like that, but after a while my ADD kicks in and I wander off to something else. But I'm back. Trying to keep my bloggin' alive.
Last week I had the priviledge of baby-sitting my little Emily (see her picture in a previous post). Her parents are really good friends of mine. I called them up and asked them if they would let me come over and play with Emily so they could go out on a date. They were, of course, thrilled.
Emily and I had the best time. And, as I usually do, I found several things about that evening that spoke to me about life as a Christian. First, Emily and I watched Elmo (or Melmo as she calls him) at least 6 times. Having no children of my own, I've never really been exposed to Elmo. I fell in love with him that night. Truthfully, I'd like to be more like Elmo. He laughs all the time (oh, wait. I already do that!). He is extremely patient (although I've yet to see him drive in Alabama traffic). He isn't afraid to ask questions. And he's just so darn friendly. I think we could all learn a lot from that little guy. Man, his little laugh just makes me smile.
Over the years, I have felt called to minister to married couples in this way (offering to babysit so they can have some one on one time). At one point I was doing this once a month for 4 different couples, which meant I had anywhere from 2 to 8 kids at my house on any given Friday night. We'd watch movies, bake cookies, roll around on the floor. One night we even had a dance party. We cranked up the music way too loud and danced all through the house. What a blast!
I guess I have a heart for marriage and children. I long to be a wife and mother some day. Now is not the time God has chosen to bring that about in my life. So I feel compelled to help those around me have better marriages.
Last week I think I was more blessed than anyone to have spent time with Emily. She is not quite 2 years old, and she is in a hugging phase right now. That night I probably got more hugs from her than I've gotten in the past 6 months. She would be playing or doing something, and she'd stop, grin at me, then run towards me full speed until she crashed into me, wrapping her little arms around my neck. At one point I laid on the floor and she spent 30 minutes climbing all over me. She stood on my head, sat on my shoulders, rolled all over the place. We had a blast. And I felt so full of love when I left. Isn't that how it always is?
I'm amazed at how God uses something so seemingly unimportant to bless so much. If you think you aren't a minister or have no talents or abilities, think again! God can use something as simple as babysitting to do wonderous things.
Sometimes I get bogged down thinking I have to do some big production to be useful for God. Big productions are great, but I have ministry opportunities at my feet every day. Besides, some people were designed to be on-stage, out front, doing the big production. Others were meant to be in the shadows talking to the unwed mother, holding a sleeping child, wiping the tear of a recent widow, taking cookies to the nurses working the third shift, paying someone's power bill, holding the hand of a 93 year old Alzheimer's patient, or inviting a visitor at church to sit with them in Sunday school. Whether you are out front or in the background, your ministry can be powerful. God can and will use everything about us for His purposes if we are open to that.
Consider what unexpected way you might minister to someone...
Last week I had the priviledge of baby-sitting my little Emily (see her picture in a previous post). Her parents are really good friends of mine. I called them up and asked them if they would let me come over and play with Emily so they could go out on a date. They were, of course, thrilled.
Emily and I had the best time. And, as I usually do, I found several things about that evening that spoke to me about life as a Christian. First, Emily and I watched Elmo (or Melmo as she calls him) at least 6 times. Having no children of my own, I've never really been exposed to Elmo. I fell in love with him that night. Truthfully, I'd like to be more like Elmo. He laughs all the time (oh, wait. I already do that!). He is extremely patient (although I've yet to see him drive in Alabama traffic). He isn't afraid to ask questions. And he's just so darn friendly. I think we could all learn a lot from that little guy. Man, his little laugh just makes me smile.
Over the years, I have felt called to minister to married couples in this way (offering to babysit so they can have some one on one time). At one point I was doing this once a month for 4 different couples, which meant I had anywhere from 2 to 8 kids at my house on any given Friday night. We'd watch movies, bake cookies, roll around on the floor. One night we even had a dance party. We cranked up the music way too loud and danced all through the house. What a blast!
I guess I have a heart for marriage and children. I long to be a wife and mother some day. Now is not the time God has chosen to bring that about in my life. So I feel compelled to help those around me have better marriages.
Last week I think I was more blessed than anyone to have spent time with Emily. She is not quite 2 years old, and she is in a hugging phase right now. That night I probably got more hugs from her than I've gotten in the past 6 months. She would be playing or doing something, and she'd stop, grin at me, then run towards me full speed until she crashed into me, wrapping her little arms around my neck. At one point I laid on the floor and she spent 30 minutes climbing all over me. She stood on my head, sat on my shoulders, rolled all over the place. We had a blast. And I felt so full of love when I left. Isn't that how it always is?
I'm amazed at how God uses something so seemingly unimportant to bless so much. If you think you aren't a minister or have no talents or abilities, think again! God can use something as simple as babysitting to do wonderous things.
Sometimes I get bogged down thinking I have to do some big production to be useful for God. Big productions are great, but I have ministry opportunities at my feet every day. Besides, some people were designed to be on-stage, out front, doing the big production. Others were meant to be in the shadows talking to the unwed mother, holding a sleeping child, wiping the tear of a recent widow, taking cookies to the nurses working the third shift, paying someone's power bill, holding the hand of a 93 year old Alzheimer's patient, or inviting a visitor at church to sit with them in Sunday school. Whether you are out front or in the background, your ministry can be powerful. God can and will use everything about us for His purposes if we are open to that.
Consider what unexpected way you might minister to someone...
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Cooper
Since you've all read about Cooper being "all strung out" I wanted you to see what he looks like! It's amazing how much this little guy teaches me about God (or how much God uses this little guy to teach me!)
Have you ever had a dog that begged for a treat? (If you've ever had a dog, I'm sure you've had one that begged for a treat!) One thing I realized when Cooper begs for treats is that he gets so excited and so focused on the treat that he completely blocks me out. Sometimes I will hold the treat and give him a command. I want him to focus on me, not the treat. I fully intend to give him the treat, but I want him to hear me first and obey! He gets so frustrated because I won't drop the treat. But if he could just realize that I am waiting for him to forget the treat and obey me.
It made me realize how often I am like that with God. I am blinded by my desires sometimes. Even though my desires might be for good things, I still focus on them too much. I may get to the point that all I can see is the "treat." I am down here hopping around, all frustrated wondering why in the world God won't give it up already. I think sometimes He is waiting for me to stop focusing on the "treat" and focus on Him.
Ain't he cute?
Cooper
Cooper
Cooper
Have you ever had a dog that begged for a treat? (If you've ever had a dog, I'm sure you've had one that begged for a treat!) One thing I realized when Cooper begs for treats is that he gets so excited and so focused on the treat that he completely blocks me out. Sometimes I will hold the treat and give him a command. I want him to focus on me, not the treat. I fully intend to give him the treat, but I want him to hear me first and obey! He gets so frustrated because I won't drop the treat. But if he could just realize that I am waiting for him to forget the treat and obey me.
It made me realize how often I am like that with God. I am blinded by my desires sometimes. Even though my desires might be for good things, I still focus on them too much. I may get to the point that all I can see is the "treat." I am down here hopping around, all frustrated wondering why in the world God won't give it up already. I think sometimes He is waiting for me to stop focusing on the "treat" and focus on Him.
Ain't he cute?
Cooper
Cooper
Cooper
Monday, November 08, 2004
All strung out
My dog, Cooper, loves to play. He has a basket full of toys in the living room behind the recliner. Every night around 9:00 he gets a second wind and bounces around the living room, flinging his toys around. We play catch, fetch and all that. He's a riot.
Tonight I wasn't paying much attention to him because I was busy doing something else. I heard him growling and jumping around, fulfilling his nightly ritual. I happened to look over, and much to my dismay he wasn't flinging his toy around--instead a big ball of string! I don't know where he found it. I didn't even know I had a big ball of string.
He had flung that thing around so much that the string had begun to unwind. Before I could stop him, he was completely tangled up. He had string wrapped around his legs, head, body and around several pieces of furniture. It took me forever to get him untangled.
So many times he does things that God uses to teach me. Tonight while he was "strung out," he was as happy and oblivious as can be. Isn't that how we are with sin sometimes? Giving no thought to what we're doing. Living in the moment. Completely caught up in the pleasure of it all. Meanwhile, the very sin we revel in is slowly closing in on us. Before long, we are paralyzed and completely consumed by it. And it doesn't take long.
Although God forgives us, it may take a lot of time to undo what sin has done to us. Just because God takes away the guilt, he doesn't always take away the consequences. If I were to put that ball of string back on the floor right now, Cooper would be right back on top of it. Ready for round 2. It didn't really cost him anything to get out of that mess. I took care of it for him. So he didn't learn anything.
Maybe I need to tie some of that string somewhere I'll see it. Maybe it will serve to remind me how quickly I can get into a big ol' mess when sin comes creepin' in.
Tonight I wasn't paying much attention to him because I was busy doing something else. I heard him growling and jumping around, fulfilling his nightly ritual. I happened to look over, and much to my dismay he wasn't flinging his toy around--instead a big ball of string! I don't know where he found it. I didn't even know I had a big ball of string.
He had flung that thing around so much that the string had begun to unwind. Before I could stop him, he was completely tangled up. He had string wrapped around his legs, head, body and around several pieces of furniture. It took me forever to get him untangled.
So many times he does things that God uses to teach me. Tonight while he was "strung out," he was as happy and oblivious as can be. Isn't that how we are with sin sometimes? Giving no thought to what we're doing. Living in the moment. Completely caught up in the pleasure of it all. Meanwhile, the very sin we revel in is slowly closing in on us. Before long, we are paralyzed and completely consumed by it. And it doesn't take long.
Although God forgives us, it may take a lot of time to undo what sin has done to us. Just because God takes away the guilt, he doesn't always take away the consequences. If I were to put that ball of string back on the floor right now, Cooper would be right back on top of it. Ready for round 2. It didn't really cost him anything to get out of that mess. I took care of it for him. So he didn't learn anything.
Maybe I need to tie some of that string somewhere I'll see it. Maybe it will serve to remind me how quickly I can get into a big ol' mess when sin comes creepin' in.
Photos
stairs
Random pics
In case you haven't figured it out, I just learned how to post pics on my blog! Anyway, I am trying to learn the art of photography. These are a couple of pictures I've taken (I also took the pic of Emily). It actually started when a friend asked me to help decorate his apartment. I decided to be clever and drive around town taking some odd photographs that I could blow up and frame (like they do on Trading Spaces). These 2 pictures were in the running (what do you think Jon?). Anyway. My interest in photography grew from there. Since then I have done 2 photo shoots of children & mom's, 1 bridal portrait, 1 session with a couple and 1 session with a single subject. I also play around with still-life.
This has surprisingly snowballed into a much larger thing than I ever imagined. I now have 1 more shoot scheduled, 3 more in the works and a wedding someone is trying to talk me into. Truthfully, I am still just fooling around trying to figure out what in the world I am doing. Hopefully I will be able to take some classes after the first of the year.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)